Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, many people likes to eat junkfood and having soft beverages with it. This all contains high level of sugar and it causes many health problems like diabetes and obesity in human body.To combat crisis it is frequently proposed that government should make taxes on sugary products. I agree on this crisis sugary products should be made more expensive to make less saliling for the people.
In the one hand, sugar is more likely for the people and contains by lots of people. To make the less sale of sugar products government should take taxes and make it expensive so, people will dislike to buy it and poverty people will also unlike to take sugar products while having expensive for them. Example like United Kingdom government had combat crisis frequently proposed having taxes on sugar products like frizzy drinks to make it expensive so , by happening this many people has stop to buy it and sale of that drink became less.
In the other hand, by making sugar free products such as food packets and sugar free beverages rather than sugar in
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position agreeing that sugary products should be taxed to reduce consumption. However, the essay is severely under-length, containing only 183 words compared to the minimum requirement of 250 words. This results in significant under-development of ideas. While the writer attempts to introduce arguments regarding public health and taxation examples from the United Kingdom, the second body paragraph is abruptly cut off mid-sentence, preventing any full development of counter-arguments or further supporting details. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed due to length constraints and undeveloped points.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay attempts an overall structure with an introduction and body paragraphs, but the organizational flow is disrupted by incomplete sentences and poor paragraphing. The second body paragraph is visibly cut off, leaving thoughts hanging. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'In the one hand' and 'In the other hand' (instead of 'On the one hand' / 'On the other hand'). Referencing is sometimes unclear, for instance, 'To combat crisis it is frequently proposed', which lacks an immediate clear antecedent. Paragraphing is attempted, but the severe truncation prevents a logical progression throughout.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive. The writer uses phrases like 'junkfood', 'soft beverages', and 'sugar products' frequently. There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as 'many people likes', 'making less saliling', and 'poverty people will also unlike to take'. Spelling and word-form errors occur ('frizzy' instead of 'fizzy', 'saliling' instead of 'sales'). While the writer attempts some less common terms like 'combat crisis', the inaccuracies in collocation and word choice constrain the resource and occasionally hinder clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is limited, featuring mostly simple or faulty complex structures. There are frequent errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('many people likes'), missing articles ('government should make taxes'), and incorrect prepositions ('taxes on sugary products' vs 'make taxes'). Furthermore, the text contains unfinished sentences, particularly at the end ('In the other hand, by making sugar free products such as food packets and sugar free beverages rather than sugar in...'), which severely impacts grammatical control. Errors are frequent and often cause difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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