Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

No doubt, taking sugar in rich amount is harmful for our health. In today's world, several manufacturing companies are using a high amount of sugar in their foods and drinks which is very risky for people's health. Some people think that if these sugary products would be made much expensive as out of reach of many people then this harm can be decreased. I am completely disagree with this view and in the following paragraphs, I will give certain reasons of my disagreement.

First of all, the increase in the price of sugary products will only beneficial for people who are unable to buy that products but not for riches. For example, rich people will use these products as usual and get health problems. Further, not only the health of some people is important but also of rich class. So, cost increase is not acceptable because it does not have the worldide approach.

Secondly, many people like drinks a lot and they buy them no matter how much the price is. For instance, people take drinks because they are interested in them. Consequently, the high levels of sugars in drinks will harm their health.

Thirdly, many countries follow trends and traditions which consume high amount of that products. For example, in my country Pakistan, it becomes a trend to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries by cutting cakes which are rich with sugar. In this case, humans never think about the cost but to follow trends and want to make their ocassion special. Moreover, the habit of drinking coke and sprite can not be declined.

In conclusion, rising the prices of sugary products are not much helpful in preventing health problems caused by these products. It can decrease the number of buyers but can not discourage many people to purchase these things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt directly by taking a clear position against making sugary products more expensive. The writer presents relevant arguments across multiple paragraphs, such as the disproportionate impact on different income brackets, the resilience of consumer habits, and cultural traditions. However, some ideas are under-developed or rely on broad generalisations rather than fully extended reasoning. For example, the mention of Pakistani cultural traditions regarding birthdays and weddings is a relevant point, but it lacks deeper exploration into alternative policy measures or public health education. The position is maintained throughout the essay, fulfilling the basic requirements for a Band 6.0 performance, where all parts of the task are addressed, though some aspects require greater depth and extension.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. The writer uses basic sequencing markers such as First of all, Secondly, Thirdly, and In conclusion, which help structure the flow of ideas. However, paragraphing and referencing are occasionally mechanical or faulty. For instance, some body paragraphs are very short and abrupt, limiting the logical progression within the paragraphs. Furthermore, referencing devices such as 'that products' or 'these things' lack precision. While the logical organisation is generally easy to follow, the overuse of formulaic transitional markers and some lapses in cohesive flow place this response firmly at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating everyday concepts related to health, manufacturing, and pricing. There are clear attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'manufacturing companies', 'disagreement', and 'preventing health problems'. However, noticeable word choice and collocation errors frequently occur throughout the text. Examples include 'taking sugar in rich amount' instead of 'consuming a large amount of sugar', 'much expensive' instead of 'much more expensive', 'completely disagree' used with 'I am', and 'worldide approach'. Additionally, 'ocassion' contains a spelling error. Because these lexical inaccuracies do not impede overall communication, the vocabulary score aligns with Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some capability to construct multi-clause sentences, such as 'Some people think that if these sugary products would be made much expensive...' and 'For example, rich people will use these products as usual and get health problems.' However, grammatical control is inconsistent, and frequent errors appear in tense choice, conditional structures, and prepositions. Examples of errors include 'would be made much expensive', 'will only beneficial', 'the health of some people is important but also of rich class', and 'rising the prices... are not much helpful'. These errors require the reader to occasionally decode the intended meaning, matching the criteria for a Band 5.0 where frequent grammatical errors and faulty complex structures are prominent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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