Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Sugar is widely consumed by the the people in the world nowadays. Many health related problems are occured by foods and drinks, as they contains high level of sugar. It is suggested that, if the price of sugar products are raised than consumption of sugar will decrease. I partially agree with the given notion and the arguments favouring my contention will be enunciated in the subsequet paragraphs.
To begin with, sugar plays a vital role in kitchen, as most of the food items are tasteless without sugar. But more consumption of sugar can cause disease like diabities, high blood pressure and many more. If the price of sugar increases then the manufacturing companies will start avoiding the use of sugar and this will help in reducing consumption. By increasing the rate of sugar people will hesitate to buy the sugar, and the reliance on the sugar will automatically reduce. For example mostly sweets are made up of sugar and these sweets are widely eaten by the people, if the price of sugar increases then the price of sweet will also increase and people will start avoiding sugar.
On the other hand, many food items is incomplete without sugar. People can do anything for the taste. Higher society may not face any problem due to increase in prices but lower and middle category will suffer from this problem. because sugar is a basic ingredient in kitchen and they cannot live without consuming it.
In conclusion, from my prespective, incresing the rate is not a solution for this problem. To reduce the consumption of sugar government must ban packed items which contain high level of sugar and must aware the public about the side effect of intaking high sugar.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether sugary products should be made more expensive to tackle health issues, presenting a partial agreement. The position is clear throughout the essay, beginning with an explicit statement of partial agreement in the introduction. The ideas are generally relevant, covering both the potential positive impact on consumption and the negative socio-economic effects on lower and middle-income groups. However, some arguments lack full development and depth. For instance, the counterargument regarding lower-income groups is somewhat simplistic and could have been extended with clearer reasoning or examples. Nevertheless, all parts of the prompt are addressed, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.0 performance under Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical organisation. The text is divided into four paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty and mechanical, with repetitive phrasing such as 'the sugar' and 'this problem'. Logical progression is present, but transition markers and referencing can be awkward at times, such as 'because sugar is a basic ingredient...' standing as a fragmented dependent clause in the third paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different viewpoints, but the overall progression and cohesive ties remain somewhat basic, aligning well with the Band 6.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'contention', 'enunciated', and 'reliance'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'health related problems are occured', 'high level of sugar' (instead of levels), 'rate of sugar' (instead of price), and 'intaking high sugar'. Words like 'diabities' (diabetes) and 'prespective' (perspective) also display spelling inaccuracies. While the writer attempts a varied vocabulary, these frequent word-choice and spelling errors place the response firmly in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range, as the errors do not severely impede overall communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional structures like 'if the price of sugar increases then the manufacturing companies will start...'. However, there are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('foods and drinks... contains'), passive voice misuse ('are occured'), missing articles ('the the people', 'in kitchen'), and a sentence fragment starting with 'because' in the third paragraph. Although these errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality, the meaning remains mostly clear to the reader, justifying a Band 5.5 for grammatical range and accuracy.
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