Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Sugar is the main component for making a processed food and cold drinks so that, manufacturing company increase the content of sugar in food products to make expensive and also seeking attention of consumer to have less sugar in their diet. I firmly agree with view, that will we discussed in the following paragraphs.

There are several reasons for agreeing with view. The first and foremost reason is that, addition of excess amount of sugar in food products have the adverse effect of people's health which lead to the incurable disease such as diabetes and also obesity. For example, person who having diabetes required regular medical follow up. As a result, their family facing financial problems.

on the other hand, Food manufacturing companies utilize sugar because it is cheap and easy to process for making new products or incorporating into the drinks so that they can make profit and increase their sells. For example, manufacturer know that children like chocolate, so they are using more amount of sugar than the other ingredients and make product unhealthy. Furthermore, they replace sugar with other artificial sweeteners having a same sweetness as sugar but are they are cheap. They are selling the products named as sugar free so that more consumers get attention. For example, Amul selling the ice-cream, which is sugar free, that is mainly produced for those patients who are not allowed to eat carbohydrates.

in conclusion, food developers use several strategies such as artificial sweeteners to replace sugar to attract people in benefit increase their sells and gain more profit. However, they are not getting attention of adverse effects on human's lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially, presenting a position that is somewhat unclear and difficult to follow due to expression issues. While the writer states they firmly agree with the view that sugary products should be made more expensive, the ideas presented throughout the essay are limited and under-developed. For example, the body paragraphs mention the adverse health effects of sugar, such as diabetes and obesity, and discuss corporate strategies regarding cheap ingredients and artificial sweeteners, but these points are not sufficiently linked back to the core prompt about increasing product prices to reduce consumption. Furthermore, the conclusion introduces ideas that drift somewhat from the central thesis. To improve, the writer needs to ensure that every main body paragraph directly supports the position with fully extended and relevant explanations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation evident in the essay, with a clear attempt to use standard paragraphing, but there is a lack of clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical, repetitive, or inaccurate. For instance, transitional phrases like 'The first and foremost reason is that,' and 'on the other hand,' are employed to structure the text, yet referencing is frequently unclear, such as the pronoun use in 'that will we discussed' and 'so that more consumers get attention.' Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs is disrupted by confusing transitions and abrupt shifts in topic, such as moving from health consequences to corporate profit strategies without smooth linking. To reach a higher band, the writer must ensure that ideas flow logically from one sentence to the next and that cohesive devices are used more naturally and accurately.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource displayed is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic meaning. The vocabulary used is often repetitive or basic, such as repeatedly using words like 'sugar,' 'products,' 'food,' and 'cheap.' There are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation that cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'cold drinks so that, manufacturing company increase,' 'sells' instead of 'sales,' and 'person who having diabetes required.' Attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'incurable disease' or 'artificial sweeteners,' are marred by inaccuracies in form or context. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary and exercise greater precision in word choice and collocations, ensuring that word forms are correct and spelling is accurate throughout the piece.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer uses a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences or faulty attempts at complex sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response that cause difficulty for the reader, including issues with verb forms and tenses (e.g., 'that will we discussed', 'person who having diabetes required'), missing or incorrect articles (e.g., 'have the adverse effect', 'with view'), and preposition usage within grammatical patterns. Punctuation errors are also present, such as unnecessary commas splitting clauses incorrectly. Because the majority of complex sentences contain errors and basic grammatical rules are frequently broken, the grammar sits firmly within the lower-mid range. To progress, the writer should focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, and using articles and verb tenses accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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