Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, ready to eat food and drinks are available with high sugar levels and it can be a cause of health problems. Many people believe that such drinks should raise its price to less consume. I strongly agree with this view, the reason behind this will discuss in upcoming paragraph.

To begin with, sugary drinks and food leads unhhealthy diets. To elaborate, people prefer to take such drinks and food but they are not aware about its consequances like due to intake of sugary products we can get health issues. For example, heart related problems and dibetes. Moreover, if sugary products will be more expensive, most of consumers will avoid to consume such products. For instance, drinks such as Redbull, Hell and sting. In addition due to lack of time peple prefer to intake of such foods.

On the other hand, government should capaiegn about such products like how it affect our financial status. To explain, if government will provide enough information to its consumers, they will know more about it like how such drinks and food are prepared. Furthermore, children also attrecting towards sugary drinks. As a result their teeth are afecting due to ts sugar. If Government will banned to purchase such products for children, it willbe beneficial for them.

Thus it can be concluded that sugary drinks can be a serious impact on individuals health, while if Government will take any action, its consumption can decrease.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your response addresses the task only partially because the essay falls short of the required 250-word minimum, containing only 239 words. Your position is presented in the introduction where you state that you strongly agree with increasing the price of sugary products, but the ideas that follow are rather limited and under-developed. For example, when you mention potential consequences like 'heart related problems and dibetes' or give examples of energy drinks like 'Redbull, Hell and sting', you do not extend these points fully to explore the broader impacts on society or individuals. Additionally, the second body paragraph shifts focus abruptly to government awareness campaigns and banning children from purchasing products, which wanders slightly away from the specific core prompt about raising prices to reduce consumption. To reach a higher level, you must ensure you meet the word count requirement, develop each main idea with thorough explanations and supporting evidence, and maintain a consistent focus throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation in your writing, with a clear attempt to use paragraph breaks to separate your introduction, body points, and conclusion, but overall there is no clear progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are often used inadequately, mechanically, or inaccurately, such as 'To begin with', 'To elaborate', and 'On the other hand', which do not always connect your thoughts logically. For instance, transitioning from discussing price increases to mentioning that 'government should capaiegn about such products' lacks a smooth logical bridge. Pronoun referencing and substitution are also occasionally unclear, making the links between sentences weaker. To improve coherence and cohesion, you should ensure that each paragraph builds naturally upon the previous one, use a wider variety of cohesive markers appropriately rather than relying on formulaic transition phrases, and maintain a clear, logical flow of arguments from start to finish.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate to convey your basic message about sugary products and health. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text that cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'Nowdays' instead of nowadays, 'unhhealthy', 'consequances', 'dibetes', 'peple', 'capaiegn', 'attrecting', and 'afecting'. You also rely heavily on repetitive basic phrases like 'ready to eat food and drinks', 'such drinks and food', and 'consume such products'. When you attempt less common vocabulary, inaccuracies in word form and collocation appear, such as writing 'such drinks should raise its price to less consume' or 'prefer to intake of such foods'. To achieve a higher score, you need to expand your vocabulary range, use less common lexical items accurately with correct collocations, and pay much closer attention to your spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside some basic complex forms. Your attempts at more complex sentence patterns are frequently faulty, leading to frequent errors that cause difficulty for the reader. Examples of grammatical errors include subject-verb agreement and voice issues, such as 'such drinks should raise its price' instead of their prices being raised, 'sugary drinks and food leads unhhealthy diets' where the verb does not match the plural subject, and 'if sugary products will be more expensive' where the conditional structure is misused. Furthermore, you make errors with prepositions and articles, such as 'in upcoming paragraph'. To improve your grammatical score, you should practise forming accurate complex sentences using varied clauses, check your verb tenses and conditionals carefully, and ensure proper agreement between subjects and verbs throughout your writing.

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