Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's time there is an overconsumption of processed and sugary items due to which there are various metabolic diseases arising in public. Products containing high sugar content should be at a higher price range in order to reduce the consumption rate. As time has passed people are neglecting their health and driffting towards a fast yet unhealthy lifestyle.

Today the leading cause of death after cancer has become either diabetes, or heart attack which is the result of consuming the fast foods which are available at an ease everywhere. These products contain highly processed sugars and transfats which eventually detoriorates an individuals health by accumulating within the arteries and its walls and eventually clog them resulting in stroke or heart attack. Spreading awareness regarding these products has not aided into less consumtion of them therefore I strongly agree on making these products expensive in order to reduce its consumption.

By increament on the prices over these goods would make sure about the sales going dwn and people would eventually opt for less processed and more healthier options for themselves. In my opinion by choosing natural products makes our body resilient towards diseases and helps to recover faster. Our bodies are naturally built to repair tissues and heal itself but due to consuming artificial sugars it eventually it comes to an end.

I would like to conclude this essay by supporting the idea of increament over the prices over proccesed and sugary products and support a healthier lifestyle for myself as well my family.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position that sugary products should be more expensive to curb consumption and reduce health issues. Relevant ideas are presented, such as the rise of metabolic diseases like diabetes and heart attacks, and the economic deterrent of higher prices. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack full extension. For instance, the argument regarding the body's natural healing processes and how artificial sugars bring it to an end is somewhat vague and scientifically unsupported. Furthermore, the discussion on awareness campaigns failing could have been expanded to provide a more robust justification for taxation. The overall progression of the argument is present, but deeper elaboration on how price hikes specifically change consumer habits would elevate the task response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established early on and maintained throughout the response. Paragraphing is utilised to divide the introduction, body arguments, and conclusion, providing a basic structural framework. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is not always entirely clear, leading to a sense of bumpy progression. For example, transitional phrases and referencing pronouns like 'these products' or 'which' are occasionally repetitive or create ambiguous links between sentences. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat basic, lacking the flexible and smooth transitions characteristic of a higher band. Improving the logical bridges between sentences, particularly in the second and third paragraphs, would create a more seamless flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the writer's core arguments about health and pricing. The student attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'overconsumption', 'metabolic diseases', and 'resilient', demonstrating a reasonable breadth of topic-specific terms. Nevertheless, there are noticeable word-choice, spelling, and word-form errors that prevent a higher score, such as 'driffting' instead of 'drifting', 'detoriorates' instead of 'deteriorates', and 'increament' instead of 'increase'. Collocations and word formations are also slightly awkward in places, like 'by increament on the prices over these goods' rather than 'increasing the prices of these goods'. While these lexical slips do not impede overall communication, refining word forms and mastering precise collocations will greatly strengthen the vocabulary profile.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional-like arguments to express viewpoints. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Examples of grammatical lapses include preposition and article usage errors, such as 'at an ease everywhere' instead of 'with ease everywhere' or 'available easily everywhere', and run-on structures or punctuation slips in long sentences, such as 'heart attack which is the result of consuming the fast foods which are available'. The writer maintains control over basic sentence structures, but errors persist when attempting more complex patterns, particularly with verb forms and prepositional phrases inside grammatical structures. A greater variety of error-free complex sentences and tighter syntactic control are needed to progress further.

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