Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In today's world, modern countries could improve their tourist places and attract adequate travels.

Therefore, this has become a discussion topic. Whether travel to other country can provide numerous benefits or creates environmental concerns. This essay shall examine both perspective with explaining how different countries can create better employment and economy growth rapidly.

Initially, one of the main merits of expanding tourism industry that offer several work opportunities. For instance, international travels could explore their country, regarding that they may need to food, accommodation and vehicles for traveling. As a result, ordinary citizens can start new businesses easily and make a good monthly income. Additionally, another major advantages of overseas tourism is contribute to economy growth frequently. Such as, different nation visitors could spend adequate money on their country. Consequently, governments could collect taxes revenue through the local business and make a excessive economic advancement quickly. Therefore, international visitors can paly a significant role to improve local business and economy growth.

Despite above the, arguments opponents state that substantial amount of travels could create place overcrowded and polluted. For instance, modern countries can provide aesthetic views due to a significant numbers of overseas tourist may visit annually. As a consequence, they could use huge amount of transportation vehicles and natural resources, while this kind of activities can effect on environment. Apart from this, International tourist not only creates overcrowded atmosphere, but also environment threats. Therefore, a substantial amount of visitors could offer overcrowded cities and environment concerns.

In conclusion, although different countries travels can provide better work and economic

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response sits at this band because it is largely off-topic. The writing task specifically requires an answer regarding whether manufactured food and drink products should be made more expensive to reduce high sugar consumption and health problems. However, the student has completely misunderstood or ignored the prompt, writing instead about tourism, local businesses, and travel. Because the content addresses a completely different topic, the prompt is only responded to minimally and tangentially, failing to present a position or develop relevant ideas for the actual task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response shows some basic organization with clear paragraph breaks, such as an introduction, body paragraphs, and a truncated conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression or logical flow relating to the actual prompt. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and repetitively, such as the frequent use of 'Initially', 'Additionally', 'As a result', and 'Consequently'. Furthermore, referencing is often confusing or faulty, as seen with phrases like 'Despite above the, arguments opponents state'. The essay trails off at the very end before a full conclusion can be established.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used represents a limited but minimally adequate range for attempting basic expression. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'accommodation', 'aesthetic', and 'advancement', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, such as 'economy growth' instead of 'economic growth', 'excessive economic advancement', and 'travels' used as a noun meaning travellers. While these errors are noticeable and cause some difficulty for the reader, the intended meaning of sentences can still be partially deciphered.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple or awkwardly constructed complex patterns. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, characterized by persistent errors in verb forms, articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreement, such as in 'international travels could explore', 'tourist not only creates... but also environment threats', and 'this kind of activities can effect on environment'. Frequent errors are present throughout the text, though they generally do not completely distort the underlying meaning of the sentences.

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