Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In contemporary world, several factories produced a high ranking of sugary food and drinks, who are mostly effect on the health issues. Factories should be made sugary items more overpriced because people did not afford them and buy less sugar products. Sugary things are very harmful for the health and causes of many diseases its impact on the health is very high. In this essay, I disagree of this statement because its all about the health. Health is wealth.

On the one hand, nowadays, manufactured a factories products creates a lot of health problems for such persons who are a diabetic patients. Today's sugary things are sale in high rank because its manufactured in all sugar and the taste are develop more sweets instead of natural things. For example if a diabetic person drink a packaging juice the taste of juice is much sweet and tasty and he become ill and go for the doctor. However if they drink a natural make drink such as orange juice than the taste are low than the sugary juice. Natural and organic have a original taste and their taste are also natural and less sugary and its also a healthy for our health and make more energize instead of high sugar artificial making products.

On the other, people also sale the these products in a high level of rates because much people did not afford them and buy a less sugary or healthy food. Unhealthy food are effect on the health issues such as, heart disease, and weight gain problems. Fat food are unhealthy and produces much more fat in the body and nowadays a young generation also involve of this problem they have eating fast food and drinks unhealthy who contain a high level of sugar and fat, which are causes a lot of health problems. Government should also banned these factories who are make a unhealthy food who are effect on the people health.

In conclusion, I totally disagree about these manufactured foods and drinks who are unhealthy becoming a health problems. Most of people also lose their lives to eating such type of food. Government should take a action and banned these factories who made a more sugary items or should be sale in a costly rates because numerous people did not buy it and buying less sugar and healthy food and stay healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally. Although the writer attempts to address the prompt regarding whether sugary products should be made more expensive, the overall position is confused and contradictory. In the introduction, the writer states 'I disagree of this statement,' yet the body paragraphs and conclusion frequently argue that governments should ban factories making unhealthy food or make items more costly so people do not buy them, which actually aligns with the prompt's proposal. Ideas are limited, highly repetitive, and under-developed, relying on vague assertions rather than well-supported arguments about taxation and consumer behavior. To improve, the writer must ensure a clear, consistent stance throughout the essay and extend relevant supporting arguments rather than contradicting their own thesis.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Information and ideas are not arranged in a fully coherent manner. While the essay is divided into paragraphs, the overall progression lacks clarity because the arguments shift abruptly and contradict each other. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes used inaccurately or repetitively, such as 'On the one hand' followed awkwardly by 'On the other' without proper parallel balancing, and frequent misuse of transition words like 'However' and 'Today's sugary things'. Referencing is also unclear at times, as seen in pronouns like 'who are mostly effect' and 'who are make', which obscure connections between ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical transitions require significant strengthening to ensure smoother readability and clear thematic development.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic, repetitive, and often strained by frequent word choice and word formation errors that impede clear communication. The student relies heavily on simple terms and makes numerous lexical inaccuracies, such as writing 'high ranking' instead of 'high levels', 'did not afford them' instead of 'cannot afford them', and 'packaging juice' instead of 'packaged juice'. There are also frequent issues with word forms, such as 'fat food' instead of 'fatty food' and 'healthy for our health and make more energize'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary result in awkward collocations and non-standard phrases like 'sale in high rank' or 'costly rates'. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to expand their range of vocabulary and use correct word forms and collocations consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and errors are frequent, often distorting meaning. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at more complex structures are almost entirely faulty. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the text, such as 'several factories produced... who are mostly effect' and 'people also sale the these products'. Prepositions within grammatical patterns are frequently misused, as seen in 'disagree of this statement' and 'involve of this problem'. Punctuation control is also weak, leading to run-on sentences that lack proper clause coordination. To improve, the writer needs to focus on mastering basic sentence construction, accurate verb tense usage, and reducing frequent foundational errors.

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