Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Health is the key factor of human. Many manufactured food and drink items contain high levels of sugar, which affect health problems. Sugar items should be made more expensive to influence individuals to consume less sugar. I agree in this topic.

Firstly, nowadays every organizations put high levels of sugar on food and drink. However, they didn't know abot the problem of human health. Although, people know about the affect but they still eat this food and drink. A childrens and young adults like more sugar food and drink because it's taste is good than other taste. The sugar creates lot of health problems, which affect the people health and they can loss their life. In modern world, we can easily saw about the how much sugar put on drink. Such as Coca-Cola, Sprite, Dew, X-treme, Fruity, Red Bull and other drinks. Which is the taste is good but we don't know about the inside health affect.

The main things individuals know about the why manufactured add high levels sugar and they know about the reason which obviously know about the solution.

When sugar uses increased in todays'. Firstly, government should be awarness about their people and manufactured about the high level sugar is harmful. And they don't follow the awarness that time state take action. For instance, sugar price should be high because many organizations don't add high level sugar. When sugar price is expensive than people obviously consume less sugar.

In conclusion, we know everything about the sugar is harmful and why we eat high level sugar foods and drinks. Our health is significant important than sugar so our responsibility protect our health about the disease.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt partially by stating agreement with the idea that sugary products should be more expensive. However, the position is not always clear throughout, and the ideas are limited and under-developed. For example, while the writer mentions popular drinks like Coca-Cola and Sprite, the connection back to how raising prices would affect consumption and health is only briefly touched upon. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support their ideas with clear, detailed arguments rather than relying on repetitive statements about sugar being harmful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some organisation in the essay, with attempts at paragraphing, but it lacks a clear overall progression. The relationship between sentences and ideas is sometimes unclear due to abrupt shifts and inadequate or inaccurate cohesive devices. For instance, transitional phrases like 'Firstly' are used repeatedly without logical sequencing, and referencing words are occasionally confusing, such as 'they didn't know abot the problem'. To improve, the writer should ensure that every paragraph has a distinct focus and that ideas flow logically from one to the next using appropriate and varied linking words.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'abot', 'affect' instead of 'effect', 'awarness', and 'significant important'. The range of vocabulary is basic and repetitive, depending heavily on common words like 'sugar', 'food', 'drink', and 'health'. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of less common lexical items with greater precision in spelling, collocation, and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, with frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement, pluralisation, and article usage, such as 'A childrens and young adults', 'how much sugar put on drink', and 'state take action'. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to ungrammatical structures like 'When sugar uses increased in todays'.' To progress, the writer must focus on mastering basic sentence construction, verb tenses, and grammatical agreements, while reducing the frequency of errors across all sentence types.

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