Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many manufactured food and drinks contain excessive amount of sugar, which can contribute to numerous health issues. Some of the individuals believe that prices of these products should be raised to discourage people from consuming too much sugar. I agree with this view because higher prices can encourage people to make healthier choices and less consumption of sugar. However this can be problematic for low income communities.

One of the major reasons for increasing the prices of sugary products is that it may discourage people from buying them frequently. Price is an important factor to restrict consumer consumption of a certain product. For instance, if prices of sugary drinks, chocolates and other highly sweetened food become more expensive, some people may choose cheaper and healthier alternatives such as fruits. As a result, reducing consumption of sugar lowers the risk of health problems such as diabetes and obesity.

Another prime advantage is that higher prices could encourage manufacturers to reduce the amount of sugar used in different products. If consumers begin avoiding products with high sugar level because of their increased prices, food companies may have incentive to develop healthier alternatives. This could gradually introduce healthy products in the market.

However, increasing prices of sugary products sometimes may have detrimental effect on low income communities. People may unable to buy healthier alternatives because they may be expensive. These are the basic necessities of life and higher prices may be the cause of nutritional deficiencies for poor.

In conclusion, I agree that sugary food and drinks prices should be raised for a healthier lifestyle and motivate manufacturers to produce healthier alternatives. However, if price is raised too much, this can affect poor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You successfully address all parts of the task by presenting a clear position on whether sugary products should be made more expensive. Your response includes relevant ideas such as how higher prices discourage frequent buying, encourage healthier alternatives, and prompt manufacturers to reduce sugar levels. Furthermore, you acknowledge a counterargument regarding the impact on low-income communities. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed, particularly the brief mention of nutritional deficiencies, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher level of fully extended discussion. To move up, you could provide more specific examples or elaborate further on how lower-income groups might be protected through targeted policies.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical flow from your introduction through your body paragraphs to your conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, such as individual consumption in the second paragraph and manufacturer incentives in the third. You use some cohesive devices appropriately, such as 'For instance', 'As a result', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally a bit mechanical or repetitive, and paragraph transitions could be smoother. To achieve a higher standard, ensure that cohesive devices are used more flexibly and that referencing between sentences is consistently seamless without relying on formulaic connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'detrimental effect', 'nutritional deficiencies', and 'alternatives'. Communication is generally clear, but there are some word-choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'less consumption of sugar' instead of 'reduced consumption of sugar', and 'high sugar level' instead of 'high sugar levels'. Additionally, minor phrasing issues like 'prices of sugary food and drinks prices' create slight awkwardness. To reach the next level, you should aim for greater precision in word choice and incorporate more sophisticated collocations and less common lexical items naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as conditional sentences and relative clauses. There are some errors in grammar, particularly missing articles ('for poor', 'to low income communities'), minor preposition slips, and a missing verb in 'People may unable to buy healthier alternatives'. However, these errors are relatively infrequent and rarely impede communication. To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, you need to work on article usage, ensure complete verb phrases in complex clauses, and increase your control over more advanced sentence structures so that a greater proportion of your sentences remain entirely error-free.

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