Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
As we all know that sugar can harm our body but some thime some people who are there gest low sugar they all need the sugar consuption high because of there health. but sugar is the product we use in daily life so it should't be more expensive.The sugary products are the source of conting more sugar so we can make the price high because we can stop more consumetion and make people aware of the harmed taken by the sugar.
As we all know that sugar is the main ingredient in the kichen of our house that why we can do less consume sugar in a day. for that we have to make some rules n our life because it is good for our health.however the drinks we use to take contion high level of sugar so we have to control the mind for not to consume it more ad if we do then we have to also mae our bofy strong for the futher health issue.
Sugary product is the thing that we all like much to eat and also consume more so to stop that we have to eat less sugar for that day so the balance will bw there between the sugar in your body.
however there are the person who whould like to have more sugar they sould be mae some ruls to over come it and make sugar comsumption low in there life for a good and health life ahead.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response addresses the task only partially and struggles to maintain a clear position regarding whether sugary products should be made more expensive. While the writer touches upon both sides of the issue—acknowledging health problems caused by sugar while noting that some individuals require sugar for health reasons—the ideas remain highly limited and under-developed. Sentences such as 'the sugary products are the source of conting more sugar so we can make the price high' fail to extend arguments logically or provide relevant examples from personal knowledge. Furthermore, it must be noted that the response falls short of the minimum length requirement of 250 words, containing only 246 words. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to fully develop well-supported main points with clear explanations and specific examples throughout a fully realized essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged in a truly coherent manner, reflecting an overall structure that lacks clear progression. While the text is divided into paragraphs, the internal organization within these paragraphs is weak, making it difficult to follow the writer's train of thought. Cohesive devices are used very inadequately and repetitively; for instance, phrases like 'As we all know that' and 'however' are misused or dropped into sentences without establishing a logical connection between ideas. Referencing is frequently unclear, such as when pronouns like 'it' or 'they' lack clear antecedents ('for that we have to make some rules n our life'). To improve, the writer needs to logically sequence ideas, employ a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices, and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-linked central theme.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, utilizing a limited range that strains the reader's comprehension. There are numerous word choice and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'thime' instead of time, 'consuption' instead of consumption, 'contion' instead of contain, and 'bofy' instead of body. These noticeable errors and inappropriate lexical choices ('harmed taken by the sugar', 'kichen of our house') impede smooth communication. To move up to a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire to include less common vocabulary, demonstrate greater precision in word choice and collocation, and eliminate basic spelling and word-form errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on repetitive and faulty sentence structures. Frequent errors are present across basic and attempted complex sentences, involving subject-verb agreement ('there gest low sugar', 'person who whould like'), missing articles, incorrect prepositions ('in there life'), and faulty verb forms ('should't be more expensive', 'mae our bofy strong'). Punctuation is also poorly handled, with run-on sentences and improper capitalization. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of grammatical structures, improve clause combination accuracy, and significantly reduce basic grammatical errors.
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