Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argued that food production companies using huge fo suger which harmful for human bodies, however some people claim that sugary items should be made more costly to influence people to eat less. I completely agree with this opinion because it cause disease and harmful for children.

First of all modern that many manufacture food and drink high level of sugar. This is because when people are love to eat them as snack. As a result, residents facing some difficulties to ate suger cause diabetes which was destroy human blood stablity. Moreover, high amount of sugar reduce human lifespan, suffer health problem when they get older. For example, coca-cola companies produces high contain level of sugar which can harmful human body but everyone to buy them and often eat which can damage their liver.

In addition, nowadays when children eat some their parents should choose some snacks which food production may use chemical sugar that damage on teeth. The main reason for this is that manufactures increased their sell that's why uses some color which content not good for children bodies. Consequently, children addicted for sugar when they become younger. Furthermore, sugary item our part of life but it can be fat for human body nowaday women eating lot of sugar, in consequently when their going face difficultie during the pregnancy. For instance, many people eat sugar in the evening which detrimantel for body, also now days tea and coffee common everywhere which too much add sugar.

In conlcusion, I strongly believe that government should strick to increase high tac to reduce using sugary product so that people to avoid to sugar. Therefore, better communities stablise fitness and more productive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that sugary products should be more expensive to reduce consumption. However, the ideas are limited and under-developed, reflecting a partial treatment of the task. While the writer mentions health issues such as diabetes and problems during pregnancy, these points are repetitive and lack well-supported elaboration. For instance, the discussion regarding children and snacks remains superficial rather than fully exploring the socioeconomic or behavioral impacts of taxation on sugary goods. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend their arguments with more detailed explanations and relevant, specific examples that directly support the main thesis throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some basic organization with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the essay lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, yet the internal flow within paragraphs is frequently disrupted by abrupt shifts in topic, such as moving from chemical sugar on teeth directly to pregnancy complications within the same paragraph. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and sometimes inaccurately, such as 'In addition' and 'in consequently', leading to a disjointed reading experience. To improve coherence, the writer should ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined central idea and use logical, accurate transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that frequently cause difficulty for the reader. There are numerous word choice, word form, and spelling errors, such as 'fo suger', 'manufacture' instead of 'manufacturers', 'ate' instead of 'aid' or 'lead', and 'detrimantel'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary often result in unnatural phrasing or incorrect collocations, such as 'chemical sugar' or 'high tac'. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their lexical range and pay closer attention to word formation, correct spelling, and natural collocations to ensure that meaning is communicated clearly without straining the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors in complex constructions. There are frequent grammatical errors involving verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions, such as 'because it cause disease and harmful for children', 'residents facing some difficulties to ate suger', and 'children addicted for sugar'. Punctuation is also weak, leading to run-on sentences and fragmented thoughts. The high density of errors can cause significant difficulty for the reader in grasping the intended meaning. To improve, the writer needs to practice basic sentence patterns, ensure correct verb forms, and minimize structural errors to make the writing more accurate and readable.

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