Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. This is actually true and such a disappointing thing. Many drink products like coke, sprite, fanta, etc contains high levels of sugar, which is really injurious to our health. Our health problems are increasing on a daily basis. These foods and drinks increases not only our sugar level but also our sodiums, calories or many functions into our body.

I think increasing the products amount won't encourage people to consume less sugar. rising the product price won't stop people from having these. People should be more concerened about their own health. Nowadays, people have to see the doctor and take huge amount of medicines because of health issues so they themselves should be worried about their own health.

For example, one of my cousin used to drink so much coke and his mom used to tell him not to drink too much drinks as it increases the sugar level. But he didn't listen to anyone. Oneday, he just got unconcious and collapsed. Then, we immediately rused him to the hospital and the doctor strictly told him to not have drinks that contains high levels of sugar. And then, he never had coke again.

Though, those who are poor or middle class, they might leave having drinks due to the increasing price but i think it's better if people become concerned about their health and acknowledge the bad effects of high sugar level. Thus, they can leave drinking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt only partially, which limits its development. While you state a clear position that increasing prices will not encourage people to consume less sugar, your supporting ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, when you mention that 'These foods and drinks increases not only our sugar level but also our sodiums, calories or many functions into our body,' the ideas are somewhat generalized and lack the depth expected for a fully explored argument. To move to a higher level, you need to extend your main points with further explanation, broader societal examples, and deeper analysis rather than relying solely on a single personal anecdote about your cousin. Ensuring every part of the prompt is explored with fully articulated arguments will significantly improve this area.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response demonstrates some overall organization with clear paragraphs, but it lacks a clear overall progression of ideas. You attempt to link sentences together, but the cohesive devices used are often repetitive, basic, or slightly inaccurate, such as starting multiple sentences with 'And then' or 'Thus'. Furthermore, referencing within the text occasionally lacks clarity, making the logical transition between your paragraphs somewhat mechanical. To achieve a stronger flow, you should experiment with a wider variety of transitional phrases and ensure that each sentence logically builds upon the previous one without relying on repetitive conjunctions. Improving paragraph transitions will help guide the reader more smoothly through your arguments.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate for conveying your basic meaning. You make use of common terms such as 'health problems,' 'sugar level,' and 'doctor,' but attempts at less common or more precise vocabulary are occasionally hampered by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form. For example, phrases like 'concerened' (spelling), 'rising the product price' (capitalization and collocation), and 'leave having drinks' reflect a restricted lexical repertoire that can cause some difficulty for the reader. To elevate your lexical score, you should incorporate a wider variety of topic-specific academic vocabulary, pay closer attention to natural word partnerships, and rigorously check your spelling before finishing your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response relies on a limited range of sentence structures, mostly consisting of simple sentences and basic compound forms. When you attempt complex sentences, they are often faulty, featuring frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms that can cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues such as 'coke, sprite, fanta, etc contains' and 'foods and drinks increases,' as well as awkward preposition usage and missing plural markers like 'huge amount of medicines' instead of 'a huge amount of medicine.' To improve your grammatical range and accuracy, you should practice constructing more complex subordinate clauses while maintaining strict control over basic rules like subject-verb agreement and singular/plural noun forms.

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