Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many manufactured food items and drink products contain high levels of sugars.Sugar is considered as an evil for children particularly and elders as well.Now a days there is increasing trend of eating too much frozen items ,junk food and carbonated drinks.This is considered a symbol of richness.More you order junk fthis ood more you are considered rich in your relatives.This thing is spoiling kids.

Basically , fast food contains alot of carbohydrates so too much consumption causes alot of health issues.

Major diseas caused by them is obesity.Obesity is considered as the mother of all diseases .After it a person is more eligible to have other diseases like cardiovascular disease ,fatty liver or stomach issues.

one way to discourage this is to increase the prices of such food items .

Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume les.This method is very good and will help to control diseases caused by these food and drink items.But this method demands strictness on national level.Whole nation should stand on one point in order to implement the law.

But in my opinion this process is not as easy as we think in doing so the business of alot people will ruin .there will be more unemployment in country .Moreover,the big parties involved in this business will buy their products illegally.

One example of such an event is that once government banned the selling of tobacco containing items in Pakistan including cigarettes as well.But shopkeepers started to sell it illegally and addicted people were buying it in high prices wiithout uttering a single word .

I just want to say that only parents can control the consumption of sugary products.They should do strictness on their children .They can teach the disadvantages of such food items and drinks in order to keep them away from such things .It will take time but once children become habitual of it will be easy to readicate auch evil from society .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You addressed all parts of the prompt by presenting a clear position on whether sugary products should be made more expensive, noting both potential benefits and negative consequences. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For example, your argument about how increasing prices could ruin businesses and increase unemployment is relevant, but it remains somewhat under-developed and would benefit from deeper extension or clearer support. You also included personal observations about social trends, such as junk food being seen as a 'symbol of richness,' which relates to the topic, though the main thrust of your argument focuses on the economic and social fallout of taxation. To move higher, every main idea needs to be fully extended with robust reasoning and clear, cohesive examples throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response presents a coherent overall arrangement, and you have attempted to organise your thoughts into distinct paragraphs addressing different aspects of the debate. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is not always clear. There are issues with paragraphing and formatting, such as missing spaces after periods and commas, as well as unconventional spacing in phrases like 'fthis ood'. While you use some transitional markers like 'Moreover' and 'Basically', the logical progression between sentences occasionally feels abrupt, particularly in the transitions between discussing health issues, economic impacts, and parental roles. To improve, you should ensure smoother transitions between ideas and apply consistent paragraph breaks and spacing conventions throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You demonstrated an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'cardiovascular disease', 'eradicate', and 'illlegally'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally impede communication. For instance, phrases like 'considered as an evil', 'rich in your relatives', 'major diseas', and 'buying it in high prices' reveal limitations in collocation and prepositional usage. Additionally, there are multiple typographical and spelling slips such as 'Now a days', 'alot', 'diseas', and 'wiithout'. To reach a higher band, you need to expand your control over less common lexical items and refine your spelling and word choice so that vocabulary errors are minimal and completely natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You utilized a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures such as conditional and concessive clauses in sentences like 'In doing so the business of alot people will ruin.' However, your attempts at complex structures are often faulty, and there are frequent errors in articles, punctuation, and subject-verb agreement that cause some difficulty for the reader. For example, missing articles ('in country', 'at national level'), punctuation errors, and awkward phrasing like 'They should do strictness on their children' demonstrate inconsistent control. To achieve a higher score, you need to increase your proportion of error-free sentences and demonstrate greater accuracy when constructing more complex grammatical patterns.

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