Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Many several foods and drinks have high levels of shugar which are very harmful of our health and it create different kind of diseases.On the other hand, some people believed that sugar should be more expensive then no one can purchase these kinds of food and drink.Here we will discuss both stracture and provide own opinion.

The primary reason why I agree from this statement because sugar is very harmful for our body and it also gain our weight, it create on our face acne and some other problems,Diabetes.For instannce, a person which eat much sugar in own daily life then he fase many problems and he create many diseases in own body and some other problems.

And it gain to weight and it create some other problems like diabetes, fat etc.Which are very detrimental for our body. And it have more problems which also very bad for everyone.

On the other hand I also disagree about this statement because it provides some vitamins and some benefits to our body.For example, some people like to eat sugar much and they do not stay happy without it. So for their sugar in little categarios are beneficial but some food should use less sugar.

In conculsion, and in my prespectations and opinion sugar should be more expeness when the public can avoid from it.And some food or drink which has much sugar they should be close because sugar are very harmful for our teeth.And in my way sugar have use some places but everywhere do not should use.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address both sides of the prompt regarding whether sugary products should be made more expensive, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the writer states that sugar causes acne, weight gain, and diabetes, but these points are expressed repetitively across multiple sentences without deeper extension or clear reasoning. While a position is presented, it fluctuates slightly in clarity due to repetitive phrasing, such as reiterating that sugar is harmful without offering broader contextual examples. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to fully develop their main ideas with substantive arguments and specific explanations rather than making generalised statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay displays some basic organisation, such as attempting a traditional introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal and often inaccurate, as seen with abrupt transitions like 'On the other hand' and 'And it gain to weight'. Paragraphing is attempted, but sentences within paragraphs feel disjointed and repetitive, making it difficult for the reader to follow a logical flow. Referencing is also unclear in places, such as using 'it' without a clear antecedent. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of accurate cohesive links and ensure that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple words and phrases to convey ideas. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form throughout the text, such as 'shugar' instead of sugar, 'expeness' instead of expensive, and 'prespectations' instead of expectations. These errors sometimes cause difficulty for the reader and reflect a limited lexical range suitable for the task. To progress further, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, learn correct spelling for common terms, and practise using less common lexical items with appropriate collocations and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentence structures, while attempts at more complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'sugar is very harmful for our body and it also gain our weight', 'a person which eat much sugar', and 'everywhere do not should use'. Punctuation and article usage also show persistent inaccuracies. These frequent errors often strain the reader and distort meaning. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate a greater variety of complex grammatical structures with improved accuracy across tenses, articles, and clause connections.

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