Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many manufactured food and drink products have high level of suger,which causes many helth dieseas.Sugary products should made more high price to encourage individuals to consume less suger.

I completly agree with your statment because reaching to purchase suger are very easy thats why humens could buy them.For example, we went to shop and sad to har your had suger? shopkeper say yes i have.And then we say to him how much it cast? He say RS:600 per 5kg so this is so easy to bought.If it is more costly every person avoide to buy it and will be safe from many problems.

Many factories make sugary products government need to makr some rules for these companies whoch make high level of suger product.For instance, Government put band pf artificial sweets and suger and they sad you need to add healthy sweets such make from sugarcane so may other benificial way to put in food and drink products. But the top leaders also say no thing this is our afeel to minesters to take action on so called swteetners.Moreover, it causes diceas to humen beings and his life.In addition many child between 1 to 2 years take sweets and they make ham hyper.

In contrast, we could need to action on our life and our helth this is our responsibality of we ignore it self no one could make him secure.Then we would be happy and healthy while government also need to take response on harmfull companies profits sad to them make healthy products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by expressing a clear opinion that sugary products should be more expensive to combat health problems. However, the ideas remain limited and under-developed throughout the essay. While the writer attempts to support their position with examples, such as the conversation at a shop and the mention of government regulations, these examples are simplistic and lack the depth required for higher bands. The arguments about children and health are stated rather than extended. To move further, the writer needs to provide fully developed explanations and more robust, well-reasoned arguments rather than relying on brief anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay displays some organisation with basic paragraphing, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, leading to a mechanical and disjointed feel. For instance, transitions like 'In contrast' and 'Moreover' are used inappropriately given the context of the sentences that follow. Referencing is also unclear at times, such as the sudden shifts in pronouns and dialogue format in the second paragraph. To improve coherence, the writer must ensure logical links between sentences and paragraphs, and maintain a consistent, formal progression of thought rather than jumping between loosely related points.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are frequent spelling and word-choice errors that impede communication, such as 'suger' instead of sugar, 'helth' for health, 'dieseas' for disease, 'shokeper' for shopkeeper, and 'ham' for harm. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, but inaccurate word forms and severe spelling mistakes detract from the overall quality. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to demonstrate control over basic word spelling, expand their range of functional academic vocabulary, and use appropriate collocations instead of translating informally from spoken thoughts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences, while attempts at complex sentences are consistently faulty. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'Sugary products should made more high price' and 'government need to makr some rules'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and periods. These frequent grammatical errors cause noticeable difficulty and strain for the reader. To improve this area, the writer needs to master basic sentence construction, ensure accurate subject-verb agreement, and reduce basic structural errors.

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