Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Sugar is a detrimental substance for our health. However, there are a slew of manufactured food and drink products which contain a substantial proportion of sugar. It is argued that rising the price of sugary products will address the problem by discouraging people to consume more sugar. Although it can be a positive way but I disagree with this assumption beacuse it will not totally mitigate the problem.

There are a large proportion of people worldwide who do not have sufficient knowledge about healthy and unhealthy foods. They consume foods whatever taste delicious or satisfy their hunger. Therefore, increasing the price of soft drinks or foods which contain sugar may not give positive outcomes due to lack of awarness of the general public.

Another possible reason that because I disagree with the opinion is that some people actually do not care about expenses. Afterwards, rising the price will not stifle them from consuming these sugary products. For example, In Bangladesh, the government has imposed tax on cigarette to to reduce the smoking rate particularly among youngsters, but it does not bring about any fruitful consequence. Nevertheless, the crime rate increases because since teenegers can not pester their parents to give them money to buy drugs, they do some illegeal activities, such as steeling, robbery or play some gambling game to arrange the money. Similarly, just by incresing the charge of sugar substances will not be a better pathway to solve the issue.

To solve this problem the state have to implement some strict rules and regulationa, for instance they can take legal actions. Furthermore, awarness should be spread out by campaign and social media where individuals can learn about the demerits of excessive sugar consumption.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position against increasing the price of sugary products. Ideas are generally relevant, but the level of development varies. The first body paragraph touches upon the public's lack of awareness regarding healthy food, while the second body paragraph attempts to support the argument by discussing how higher prices do not deter affluent consumers, citing an extended example about cigarettes in Bangladesh. However, this example strays slightly into unintended negative consequences, such as crime, which makes parts of the argument somewhat unfocused. To reach a higher level, the ideas need to be more consistently extended and supported with tightly focused arguments directly addressing sugar consumption rather than generalizing into unrelated societal issues.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established from the beginning. Paragraphing is utilized to separate different arguments, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct reason for disagreeing with the prompt. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or faulty, particularly in transitions like 'Another possible reason that because I disagree with the opinion is that' and referencing errors such as 'Similarly, just by incresing the charge of sugar substances', which disrupt the smooth progression of ideas. To improve coherence, transitional devices should be used more naturally, and referencing between sentences must be kept clear and precise to guide the reader effortlessly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the writer's meaning with a mix of everyday and less common items. There are clear attempts to use advanced vocabulary, such as 'detrimental', 'substantial proportion', and 'fruitful consequence'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally detract from the quality, such as 'awarness' instead of awareness, 'illegeal' instead of illegal, 'steeling' instead of stealing, and 'incresing' instead of increasing. While these inaccuracies do not heavily impede communication, they reflect a lack of precision. To achieve a higher band, the vocabulary needs to be used more accurately and flexibly with correct spelling and natural collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to construct varied sentences. There are several grammatical errors present, such as 'rising the price' instead of raising the price, 'beacuse' instead of because, 'There are a large proportion of people... who does not' (agreement error), and issues with prepositions and articles. For example, writing 'play some gambling game' or 'the state have to implement' lacks proper pluralisation and subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is generally functional, but errors persist. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they occur regularly. To move up, the writer needs to increase the proportion of error-free sentences and demonstrate tighter control over complex grammatical structures and agreement.

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