Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The arising health problems due to high level of sugar in majority of the manufactured products has become a contentious issue in recent years. While some argue that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar, while other believe that one should have a personal check and balance on the food it consumes. In my view, it should not be enforced on individual to not to consume manufactured products by raising the prices, since it is the personal choice and preferences of every individual.

On the one hand, every human has a right to freedom and personal preferences. Nobody should be enforced to do what they don't want in their life. Some people prefer to consume sugary products occassionally to mantain their figure and body, while other prefer to eat more of the manufactured products and dont give a thought on on personal health and lifestyle. Nevertheless, there are significantly negative impact of these products.

On the other hand, Manufacturing products with high sugar level are detrimental to public health and society. Naturally every human being is attracted to sugary or sweet products rather than attracting to bitter or sour products due to tastebuds. By time, the over consumption of sugar leads to serious health problems. A prime example are the people who have diabetes due to over consumption leading to other issues as they age.

To sum up, Over consumption of sugary product has exacerbates one's health; however, it should not be enforced on the society by increasing the prices of products as this will lead to the overall inflation in the region. Ultimately, it should be individual's preference of what and when they need to consume which product though there should be awareness programs organized by government and health societies to highlight the problems faced by the consumption of sugar over the time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether sugary products should be made more expensive, and the writer takes a clear position disagreeing with the taxation measure. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed, which keeps the task response at this level. The introduction sets up the stance, and body paragraphs attempt to present arguments regarding personal freedom versus public health. Yet, these ideas are expressed simplistically rather than being fully extended with robust reasoning or concrete examples. For instance, the mention of diabetes is very brief and lacks elaboration. Additionally, fourteen words copied directly from the prompt were not counted. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to provide fully explained arguments with deeper analysis rather than briefly touching upon multiple competing thoughts.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates some overall organisation with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, progression is not always clear, and cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or repetitive. The writer relies heavily on basic transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand,' but the logical flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as starting the second sentence with 'While some argue... while other believe...'. Referencing is also faulty in places, such as 'the food it consumes' and 'every human... what they don't want in their life'. To improve Coherence and Cohesion, the writer should employ a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that sentences connect smoothly to maintain a clear path of progression throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'contentious issue,' 'detrimental,' and 'exacerbates.' However, there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'occassionally' (spelling), 'mantain' (spelling), 'dont give a thought on on' (repetition and preposition choice), and 'individual's preference' missing an article. The phrase 'personal check and balance' is also unnatural in this context. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire and use less common vocabulary with greater precision, while eliminating basic spelling and collocation errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing exhibits a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside some attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that cause difficulty for the reader, particularly concerning article usage, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions. Examples of errors include 'The arising health problems' (inappropriate participle form), 'majority of the manufactured products' (missing article), 'it should not be enforced on individual to not to consume' (awkward passive structure and double negative error), and 'Over consumption of sugary product has exacerbates' (tense and pluralisation error). Punctuation and comma splices also need attention. To progress, the writer must increase sentence variety, maintain strict grammatical accuracy, and ensure better control over complex clauses and verb phrases.

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