Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, the development of food industries introduced many new products in market which contains high levels of sugar especially for children. In my opinion, those pakaging food which have extra sweetening syrups should be more expensive so individuals consume less sugar due to overpricing. I strongly agree with this action because it harms our young generations health.

Furthermore, there are several reasons to cut sugar in your life. First and foremost, when you start eating sugar from the young age like toddlers then your taste buds develop and you will have high chances to get addicted to it. In addition, the factory makers are not using real sugar instead they used sweetening syrups and fake flavours or colours which can cause serious health problems. Nowadays, diabetes issue is quite increasing just because of our careless behaviour and consuming adequate amount of sugar.

Additionally, we can get rid of our cultural habit of eating sugar with an every item. Our government should take serious action towards this issue because if they put tax compulsory on sugary items, which will show a dramatic increase in the prices of all those items which have sugar. Therefore, due to the high price of every item many people will likely to cut of the sugar which is a positive impact to our health.

In conclusion, in the fast-paced world where everything contains sugar no mtter is the food or drink, our food ministers must show some concern and raise the prices so most of the citizens cannot afford it and they get a chance to attract to a healthy diet. I firmly believe after taking these serious actions we can bring betterment in our society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position agreeing that sugary products should be made more expensive. Relevant ideas are introduced, such as the impact on children's health, the role of cheap sweetening syrups, and the potential effectiveness of taxation. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack extension. For instance, the point regarding toddlers developing taste buds is mentioned but not fully explored with detailed supporting evidence. To reach a higher level, every main idea needs deeper elaboration and more thorough explanation connecting the proposed tax directly to long-term societal consumption patterns.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate distinct points, such as the health impacts of artificial syrups and the proposed government intervention. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, with overused or basic linking devices like 'Furthermore', 'First and foremost', and 'Additionally'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'with an every item' and abrupt transitions between sentences. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of subtler cohesive ties and ensure smoother logical progression between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and attempts less common items such as 'overpricing', 'addicted', and 'careless behaviour'. However, there are notable word-choice, word-form, and spelling errors that reflect a limited level of precision. Examples include 'pakaging' instead of packaging, 'adequate amount' when a large or excessive amount is meant, and awkward phrasing like 'cut of the sugar' and 'no mtter is the food or drink'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the score. To achieve a higher band, the writer must use less common lexical items more accurately and refine word choice and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as 'which can cause serious health problems' and 'if they put tax compulsory on sugary items'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing articles ('in market', 'from the young age'), incorrect prepositions ('with an every item'), and awkward relative clauses ('many people will likely to cut of the sugar'). These errors are noticeable but rarely impede communication. To progress further, the writer needs to produce a greater frequency of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over articles, verb patterns, and agreement.

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