Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, there is an important debate going on that several manufactured foods and drinks cause a significant number of health problems. Some people argue that sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I strongly agree that these products are a big source of many health problems, like diabetes and heart problems.

One major reason is that the use of a significant amount of sugary products causes major health problem is diabities. For instance, a person who regularly drinks soft drinks and eats cake and other products that contain a large proportion of sugar. This can result in diabetes, as they are comsume significant amount of sugar. Furthermore, a high level of sugar can cause other health problems; it can affect the vision of some individuals and can affect the kidneys of other individuals.

The government should impose high taxes on the companies that are making products and on suppliers who are delivers ingridient which contain a high level of sugar. When substantial amounts of taxes are imposed on companies and the materials they purchase from suppliers, the price of the product will increase, and fewer people will buy. Furthermore, the government should create awareness in the public through advertising and through camps that explain to individuals the consequences of these products, which can discourage people from purchasing these products.

In conclusion, sugary products cause several different health problems and should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. I agree that the government can play a crucial role in this with stricter action.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

First, it must be noted that the response contains 237 words, which is 13 words short of the 250-word minimum requirement. (Note that 26 words copied directly from the task prompt were excluded from this count). Addressing the content, the essay partially addresses the task. You present a clear position of agreement regarding increasing the price of sugary products, and you introduce relevant ideas such as taxation and public health awareness campaigns. However, these ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, your argument regarding diabetes and organ damage is stated rather than fully extended with deeper elaboration. To reach a higher band, you need to extend and support your arguments more thoroughly and ensure you meet the minimum word count without relying heavily on prompt repetition.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some organisation in your writing, with a clear introduction and conclusion, and paragraphs are used to separate different main ideas. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs can feel repetitive and mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'Furthermore' to link consecutive paragraphs. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in sentences like 'This can result in diabetes, as they are comsume significant amount of sugar,' where the pronoun reference is confused. To improve, you should aim for a smoother logical flow between ideas and use a wider, more natural variety of cohesive devices rather than relying on repetitive transitional markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-related words such as 'manufactured foods', 'diabetes', 'heart problems', and 'taxes'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that cause some difficulty for the reader. Examples include spelling errors like 'diabities' and 'comsume', as well as grammatical word-form and collocation slips such as 'delivers ingridient' instead of 'delivering ingredients'. To achieve a higher band, you need to expand your lexical range, use less common vocabulary with greater precision, and eliminate basic spelling and word-form errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

Your writing displays a limited range of structures, relying mostly on basic sentence patterns alongside some attempts at complex sentences. However, your attempts at complex structures are often faulty, featuring frequent errors in grammar. For example, you make errors in verb forms and agreement, such as 'who are delivers ingridient', and punctuation issues or fragmented structures like 'For instance, a person who regularly drinks soft drinks and eats cake and other products that contain a large proportion of sugar. This can result in diabetes...' where a dependent clause is punctuated as a complete sentence. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, you should focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring accurate verb forms and clause boundaries.

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