Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The manufacturing of food and drink products conatian high sugar levels, which leads to many health issues. Some people argue that rising the cost of these products will be beneficial to encourage people to avoid buying them. I believe that make these items more expensive and improve the awareness of people about the side effect of these item will be the best approach.

Increasing the cost of sugary items will reduce the buying potential. Governemnts can rise the costs of sugary items in the market, by imposing higher taxes on the companies that manufacturing them, which will make them less affordable and fewer number of people will buy them. For example, imposing higher taxs on compnaies of sugary snacks will puch the manufacture to rise the total price on consumers, eventually make them less afordable to purchas. As a result, the number of children who purchased them will fall substantially over the period, mitigating the risk of developmant of diabetic disease among children. Therefore, this approach can bring benefit for society.

In addition, imporving people awareness about the potential negative impact of sugary items could aslo reduce the overall consumption. When governmants educate citizens about the health issues that usually associated with high-sugar items, such as risk of diabetic, renal failure, and retenal damage, people will encourage to avoid them over time. For instance, school and public health campins can introduce by governemnts over several months to illustrate in short moive how sugar enters to human body and causes damage in vital organs.

In conclusion, to reduce the consumption of sugary items among the people, a comprehensive approch that combined both rising the cost of those items and educate them will provide a greater benefit for the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your response successfully addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position throughout the essay. You state your view in the introduction that both increasing prices and raising health awareness are necessary, and you develop these ideas across the body paragraphs. For instance, you explain how higher taxes on sugary snacks lead to increased consumer prices and reduced purchases among children, which helps mitigate diabetes risks. Similarly, your second body paragraph extends the idea of public health campaigns by mentioning specific conditions like renal failure and retinal damage. While your ideas are generally well extended and supported, there is a slight tendency to overgeneralise or repeat points slightly in the conclusion, which keeps the response at this solid level. To reach a higher band, you could ensure that every supporting example provides even deeper depth and varied analysis without leaning on repetitive phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

Your essay demonstrates clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are arranged coherently, moving logically from your introduction to separate body paragraphs addressing cost and awareness, and finishing with a cohesive conclusion. You use cohesive devices adequately and appropriately, such as 'In addition,' 'For instance,' and 'In conclusion,' which guide the reader smoothly through your arguments. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, with each main idea given its own dedicated paragraph. To achieve an even higher score, you could work on making referencing even more fluid and ensure that cohesive devices are varied with advanced transitional phrases, preventing any sense of mechanical connection between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, providing a sufficient range to communicate your main points about health and taxation. You attempt less common vocabulary items such as 'comprehensive approach,' 'mitigating the risk,' and 'vital organs.' However, there are noticeable spelling, word-choice, and word-form errors throughout your text that prevent a higher score. For example, you wrote 'conatian' instead of contain, 'rising' instead of raising or rise, 'make' instead of making, 'taxs' instead of taxes, 'compnaies' instead of companies, 'afordable' instead of affordable, 'developmant' instead of development, 'imporving' instead of improving, 'campins' instead of campaigns, 'moive' instead of movie, 'enters to' instead of enters, and 'approch' combined instead of approach combining. These frequent slips in spelling and word form mean your lexical control sits firmly in the mid-band range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like conditional and causal relationships such as 'When governments educate citizens... people will encourage to avoid them.' However, there are frequent errors in grammar, articles, and verb forms that cause some difficulty for the reader. For instance, you wrote 'the manufacturing of food and drink products conatian,' which contains a subject-verb agreement error, and 'fewer number of people,' which should be 'a smaller number of people.' Additionally, phrases like 'people will encourage' misuse the active voice where passive is required ('people will be encouraged'), and 'sugar enters to human body' contains an unnecessary preposition. Punctuation and article usage also show persistent slips across the text. To improve, you need to focus on accurate verb inflections, voice consistency, and clean complex sentence construction.

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