Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Nowadays, sugar has become a very common and essential part of our lives. However, excessive sugar consumption can be extremely harmful to people’s health. It may cause several health problems, such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular diseases. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this view that people should reduce their excessive consumption of sugar.
One of the significant way to reduce sugar consumption is to increase the prices of sugar related products. When these products are more expensive people may think twice before buying these products. This step is better for the people who are addict of sugar and like to consume sugar on a daily basis. As a result, people may move to other healthy products instead of sugar.
On the other hand, we can also discouaged people to consume less sugar by awareing them about the consequences of sugar. For example, government and doctors should start a campaign and start running commercials about the negative aspects of sugar. Following this, people can be aware of drawbacks of sugar. Moreover, government can reduce the prices of healthy products to encourage individuals to use these products instead of harmful beverages. As a result, people's health can be improve day by day and they become more healthy and fit.
In conclusion, making sugary food and drinks more expensive can help reduce their consumption and encourage people to choose healthier alternatives. Moreover, higher prices may motivate manufacturers to produce products with less sugar. Therefore, I strongly believe that increasing the cost of sugary products is an effective measure to reduce health problems and promote a healthier lifestyle.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response successfully addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overall position agreeing with the prompt. The writer presents relevant main ideas, such as increasing prices to deter buyers and implementing public awareness campaigns. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others; for instance, the discussion on taxation and pricing could have been extended with more specific examples or deeper exploration of the economic impact. The integration of alternative solutions in the third paragraph, while relevant, slightly shifts the focus away from the core premise of pricing until the conclusion, which is a characteristic of a balanced and partially developed exploration rather than a fully expanded discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of the argument. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'For example', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are employed to connect ideas, though referencing and transitions can occasionally feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the transition 'As a result' is used multiple times across different paragraphs. Despite these minor flaws, the logical flow is maintained throughout, making the overall structure easy to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common and topic-specific items such as 'cardiovascular diseases', 'obesity', and 'healthier lifestyle'. However, there are notable instances of imprecise word choice and lexical inaccuracies, such as 'One of the significant way' instead of 'ways', 'addict of sugar' instead of 'addicted to sugar', and 'discouraged people to consume less sugar by awareing them' instead of 'raising awareness'. These errors show an attempt to use a wider range of vocabulary with some lack of precision, though they do not impede overall communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writing displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct multi-clause sentences such as conditional and relative clauses. There are, however, several grammatical and punctuation errors present, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'people's health can be improve' instead of 'improved', and minor prepositional or article slips. Despite these errors in grammar, punctuation, and word forms, the structures are generally controlled well enough that they rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to grasp the intended arguments without confusion.
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