Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Sugar is an essential part of a person's diet. However, when consumed in excess may be dentrimental to one's well being. Moreover sugar has the property of being addictive and so companies take advantage of this to include as much sugar as possible to entice consumers to keep coming back to their products. To tackle this issue some have suggested rasing the price of sugary products. While some critics argue that high sugar content is not that big of a deal and there may be better ways to tackle the issue, in my opinion I belief this approach is valid and should be implemeted swiftly.

The primary reason behind my stance is that excess consumption of sugar is directly assosiated with one of the most dangerous yet common health hazard known as diabetes. Not only does this over consumption of sugar contribute to cathcing this illness, it also alleviates it further if the one afflicted cannot control himself. For instance it is far too common a scenario where people convince themselves that one or two sweets wont hurt them and they repeat this cycle of though as a coping mechanism while degrading their health further. Increasing the price of sugary content will help tackle this such that the patient will now be concerned about both the price and his health before making the decision to consume that particular product and in most cases they will realize the drawbacks far outweights the temporary moment of satisfaction.

Moreover, another important impact that raising the prices have is on companies. If prices are higher demand will fall and as such if their bottom lines are not met, they may slow down production for these types of products resulting in less sugary products in the market for people to consume. And this is a proven method of controlling the supply of certain products that goverments commonly turn to. For instance cigarettes in a similar veiin is linked to cancer and governments periodically regulates its price to discourage consumption.

In conclusion, sugar consumption in excess is a growing concern around the world and this matter should not be overlooked. So I believe raising the prices of sugary drinks and foods is a good initiative towards curbing this issue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout in favor of raising prices on sugary items. The introduction clearly states your stance, and body paragraphs present logical arguments concerning both public health implications, specifically diabetes, and corporate production behaviors. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed or rely on generalized assumptions rather than fully extended support, such as the mechanism of how higher prices immediately curb personal consumption cycles. To reach a higher level, ideas should be elaborated with deeper analysis or more concrete external examples, moving beyond general assertions about consumer psychology and corporate supply.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear central topic running from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as health impacts versus commercial market effects. Cohesive devices are employed, including transitional markers like 'Moreover' and 'For instance', although referencing and transitions can occasionally feel a bit mechanical or simplistic, such as starting multiple sentences with 'For instance'. To progress further, the integration of cohesive devices needs to become more fluid and natural, and referencing within paragraphs should be managed more tightly to ensure seamless logical progression throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, successfully communicating your arguments regarding public health and economic regulation. You make some attempts to use less common items and subject-specific vocabulary, such as 'addictive', 'detrimental', and 'bottom lines'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'dentrimental' instead of detrimental, 'rasing' instead of raising, 'belief' instead of believe, 'implemeted' instead of implemented, 'assosiated' instead of associated, 'cathcing' instead of catching, 'alleviates' instead of aggravates, 'outweights' instead of outweighs, and 'veiin' instead of vein. These errors reflect a need for greater precision and care in spelling and lexical selection.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, successfully linking clauses to construct multi-layered arguments, such as in the sentence beginning with 'While some critics argue...'. There are, however, some recurring errors in grammar and punctuation, including missing commas after introductory clauses, minor subject-verb agreement slips, and prepositional awkwardness. For example, expressions like 'governments periodically regulates' show a lack of agreement between plural noun and singular verb form. While these grammatical and punctuation issues rarely impede overall communication, achieving a higher standard requires greater control over complex structures and consistent accuracy in punctuation and agreement.

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