Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of refined and processed sugar, the impact of which is harmful to our health. But I do not believe that making them expensive is the right long-term solution. Rather, wider awareness and education on the subject is a more appropriate remedial strategy. There is a need to transform the target audience's perception of such products and give them more autonomy of choice.
Comsumption of processed sugar in excess leads to health problems like diabetes, obesity and cardiovascular diseases. Doctors and experts have sighted research and analysis on the matter, underpinning the harmful effects of processed sugar frinks and fast foods.
Generating awareness amongst consumers will reduce demand. As a spillover effect, companies and manufacturers will be required to sell healthier alternatives. Customers must be educated on the ill-effects of processed food products, making them conscious of their food preferences.
Making it unaffordable to a small chunk of the public will still not remove them from the market. It will simply make it a luxury item, and appeal even more to the lower-income strata of the consumer market. Although it will reduce consumption by a significant margin, public perception will more towards desire, instead of aversion.
Expanding health awareness, on the other hand, lead to a more informed consumer where they consciously choose products and even demand for change. The companies which cater to the market supplu as per demand. When demand shifts, manufacturing, innovation and marketing, too, change course to fill that gap.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
First, please note that the response contains 242 words, falling slightly short of the minimum 250-word requirement (with 10 words copied from the prompt excluded), which slightly restricts full development. The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position that disagrees with taxation and instead advocates for education and awareness. Main ideas are relevant, but some are more fully developed than others. For instance, while the argument regarding shifting consumer demand is reasonably well explained, the point about higher prices paradoxically appealing to lower-income groups needs deeper extension and stronger supporting evidence. To reach a higher band, all main arguments must be thoroughly explored with more fully realised examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear central topic and a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised adequately to separate distinct points, such as the critique of taxation versus the benefits of education. However, cohesion is at times mechanical or slightly faulty, and referencing is not always completely clear, such as in the sentence starting with 'Expanding health awareness, on the other hand, lead to...', where structural links could be smoother. To achieve a higher level, cohesive devices should be employed with greater flexibility and precision, ensuring that the transitions between sentences and paragraphs guide the reader effortlessly through the argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
An adequate range of vocabulary is deployed for the task, allowing the writer to successfully discuss health issues and consumer behavior using terms like 'remedial strategy', 'cardiovascular diseases', and 'spillover effect'. There are, however, some noticeable lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors, such as 'Comsumption' instead of consumption, 'sighted' instead of cited, 'frinks' instead of drinks, and 'supplu' instead of supply. While these slips do not seriously impede communication, they reflect a limited control over less common lexical items. To move up, the writer needs to demonstrate greater precision in word choice and collocation, alongside more rigorous proofreading to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures such as conditional and subordinate clauses. However, there are several errors in grammar and punctuation, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'Expanding health awareness... lead to' instead of leads to, and missing prepositions or incorrect word forms in clauses such as 'will more towards desire'. These errors are characteristic of this band level, occurring alongside patches of accurate complex structures. To attain a higher band, the writer must produce a greater proportion of error-free complex sentences and maintain strict control over grammatical agreements and verb patterns throughout the entire response.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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