Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is a growing consensus that many manufactured food and beverages produce high level of sugar, that may cause health complications. A proposal has emerged suggesting increasing price of sugary items could serve as a effective statergy to reduce their consumption. i maintain the perspective valid and warranting consideration.

To commence with, consuming more sugar is very dangerous for health. Products like chocolated ,sweets more consumed by childrens have been seen facing the dental issues,stomach infection. Higher prices for sugary products could result in decrease consumer demands. However, disease like diabetes ,obseity have been seen in every adult. This should be prevent because have this worst disease can effect health outcomes.Onc should prioritize their health by cutting off the sugary products.

Nevertheless, it is important to recognize how body can effect by having a life long disease for instance diabetes. Having too much sugar this problems can be seen on the body by high diabetes that can be reason of the death. This problems is incling day by day by having too much sugary items n drinks. The dental problem will be cavaities , pain in the teeth all the time , early teeth falling by eating such products. Too much fat can be seen on body , and too much fat is very hard to take off because it is very stubborn. Finally, regulatory measures could mandate manufacturers to reduce the levels of added sugars in their products, favoring natural sweeteners instead.

In conclusion, while there are various practical strategies to mitigate the consumption of sugary foods and drinks, ultimately decreasing the prevalence of health-related complications, I argue that merely raising the prices of such products may be considered a superficial remedy. It is imperative to implement comprehensive educational campaigns and regulatory frameworks to foster a long-term change in consumer behavior and improve public health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether raising the prices of sugary products is an effective strategy, presenting a position that shifts slightly from supporting the idea initially to arguing for comprehensive educational campaigns and regulatory frameworks in the conclusion. While the main issue is covered, the ideas are limited and under-developed, which keeps the score at this level. For instance, the second paragraph briefly mentions that products like 'chocolated ,sweets' cause dental issues and stomach infections, but these points are not sufficiently extended or supported with well-reasoned explanations or relevant examples. Similarly, claims regarding obesity and diabetes are introduced without adequate elaboration. To reach a higher standard, the writer needs to ensure that every main idea is fully explored with well-supported arguments and a clearer, more consistent position throughout the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates some organization with clear paragraph breaks, but it lacks an overall sense of logical progression and smooth connectivity. While basic transitional phrases are attempted, such as 'To commence with' and 'In conclusion', cohesive devices are often inaccurate, repetitive, or mechanically applied, causing the flow to stutter. For example, the referencing within sentences is frequently unclear, as seen in the third paragraph where phrases like 'how body can effect by having a life long disease' create disjointed transitions between ideas. Paragraphing is present, yet the internal progression of thoughts within the body paragraphs feels fragmented rather than cohesive. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices naturally and ensuring that sentences link together logically to guide the reader seamlessly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic message of the prompt, featuring frequent errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'consensus', 'complications', and 'prevalence', but struggles with accurate collocation and word forms. Examples of lexical errors include 'produce high level' instead of 'contain high levels', 'effective statergy', 'decrease consumer demands', and spelling mistakes like 'chocolated' and 'obseity'. Furthermore, awkward phrasing such as 'having this worst disease can effect health outcomes' demonstrates a restricted control over word choice. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, pay closer attention to correct word forms and spelling, and use terms in appropriate collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences alongside attempts at complex forms that are frequently faulty. Frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and agreement can cause difficulty and strain for the reader. Noticeable issues include subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'beverage produce high level', incorrect article usage like 'increasing price' and 'as a effective statergy', and awkward verb patterns like 'should be prevent because have this worst disease can effect'. Additionally, punctuation errors and missing prepositions within grammatical patterns weaken the overall control of sentence construction. To move up to the next level, the writer needs to produce a greater variety of complex structures with improved accuracy, ensuring that basic grammar rules regarding plurals, articles, and verb tenses are consistently applied.

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