Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable that the growing consumption of sugar-contained substances has raised numerous health concerns. Many people argue that such products should be heavily taxed to protect the health of people's and reduce sugar consumption. I extremely agree with this statement because excessive sugary products can have negative effects on the health and consumers well-being.

To commence with, high sugar products cause damage to the health of the young generation. To explicate it, food and drink industries often use high amount of sugar substances to enhance the flavour of beverages and food products which attract many young consumers. Such products have negative impact on health and causes stomach irritation which can later lead to food poisoning, diarrhea and constipation. For instance, last year many company produced a large amount of soft drinks which had detrimental effects on children.

Regarding heavy taxes on such products will lead to positive outcomes on people's excessive use of sugar and health diseases. Many people consume this products because it is quite affordable and flavourful. However, exempting high charges or taxes will automatically shift people interest to other safe alternatives. As a result, it will lower the high demands of sugar products as well as manufacturing companies.

In a conclusion, although excessive sugar products are entertaining for many individuals but it's negative impacts on health cannot be ignored. Therefore, government should definitely raise charges for such products to promote healthy eating habits in individual. This will not only increase economy health but also provide many benefits to upcoming generation

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position on taxing sugary products to reduce consumption. The main arguments are generally relevant, but some ideas are left under-developed or lack sufficient support. For instance, the claim that high-sugar products cause stomach irritation leading to food poisoning and diarrhea is somewhat unsupported and medically inaccurate in this context. While the writer attempts to provide examples, such as mentioning last year's soft drink production, the example remains too vague and lacks specific details to fully support the argument. To move to a higher band, the response would need to extend and support all main ideas with more convincing, well-reasoned explanations and concrete, specific examples rather than sweeping generalisations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, discernible progression of ideas throughout the text. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs addressing different aspects of the issue, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Regarding', and 'As a result' are employed to guide the reader, showing elements of higher bands. However, some aspects of cohesion are slightly mechanical or faulty, such as the awkward phrasings in transition sentences like 'Regarding heavy taxes on such products will lead to positive outcomes'. Referencing is not always entirely clear, and some transitional links feel slightly forced. To achieve a higher level, the writer needs to ensure that cohesive devices are used more flexibly and naturally, and that referencing between sentences maintains seamless logical flow without awkward phrasing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate their thoughts on health and taxation. There are clear attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'detrimental effects', 'affordable', and 'alternatives'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation that prevent a higher score. Examples include 'sugar-contained substances' instead of 'sugar-laden substances', 'consumers well-being' instead of 'consumer well-being', 'exempting high charges' when meaning 'imposing high charges', and 'economy health' instead of 'economic health'. Additionally, minor slips like 'peoples' and spelling issues occur. To improve, the writer should focus on precise word choices, correct collocations, and accurate word forms to ensure vocabulary is used with greater naturalness and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to vary grammatical structures with constructions such as 'Although excessive sugar products are entertaining...'. However, there are several errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement and singular/plural mismatch issues like 'causes stomach irritation' (where the subject is plural 'such products'), 'many company' instead of 'many companies', and 'in individual' instead of 'in individuals'. There are also prepositional and structural errors, such as 'protect the health of people's' and 'shift people interest'. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, they persist frequently enough to restrict the score. To reach a higher band, the writer must increase control over complex grammatical structures and ensure greater accuracy in articles, plurals, and subject-verb agreement.

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