Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, brands and companiees produced several products, it contains high amount of sugar and artificial flavours, which are causing ailments to general public. While, authorities need to take action against it and should impose tax on sugary items. I agree with this statement and will discuss all potential reasons in upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly, the key reason of sugary food impacts the society, its advertisement fundamentals among childrens in clever way, which shows it has instant energy and boost indurance. In contrast, sugar-rich foods releases dopamine signals to brain. The wide-spread of branding and endorsement of these prodcuts by well-known celebrities and influencers on TV, Socail-media and newspapers. For example, famous youtuber Mr Beast, who has more than 100 million subscribers on youtube promoting his own brand's chocolates, candies and sweetmeats and his most of buyers are below the age of 16.
In addition, to reduce the consumption of sugar-packed food not completly responsibility of government, they can control it by imposing strict laws and tax on the production of it. On the other hand, citizens should aware themeselves by adapting healthy habbits like exercise and workout. However, in public campaign
the voice should be rise to reduce the sugar consumption. For instance, in schools and socail activities by creating groups, should introduce the drawbacks of sweets and confections with the deficiency of calories, protein and vitamins inside it.
In conclusion, to replace completely the production of sugary goods is not a feasible task for both lawmakers and individuals, by applying few measurements it can be reduce it some aspects. Whereas, there is also a need to stop it by considering its consequences like related to health diseases.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task and establishes a clear position agreeing that sugary products should be made more expensive. Relevant ideas are introduced, such as the influence of marketing on children and the role of taxation alongside personal responsibility. However, some ideas are under-developed or lack clarity. For instance, the paragraph discussing advertising features disjointed points about dopamine and a specific example of YouTuber Mr Beast without fully explaining how higher taxation directly counters this specific marketing mechanism. Similarly, the conclusion touches briefly on reducing production, but the arguments could have been extended with more precise reasoning to fully satisfy higher band requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance introduced from the beginning and supported by body paragraphs. However, progression is sometimes hindered by mechanical or faulty cohesion. Transitional phrases and linking devices are occasionally misused or awkwardly placed, such as starting sentences with 'While, authorities need...' or 'In contrast, sugar-rich foods releases dopamine'. Furthermore, referencing and paragraphing show weaknesses; the third paragraph mixes government taxation policies with individual habits and public campaigns rather than maintaining a single clear focal point. Paragraph transitions feel slightly abrupt, which impacts the overall logical flow of the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'artificial flavours', 'ailments', 'endorsement', and 'confections'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors ('companiees', 'indurance', 'prodcuts', 'Socail-media', 'habbits', 'measurements') and awkward word choices or collocations ('advertisement fundamentals', 'voice should be rise'). These errors do not completely impede communication, but they occur regularly enough to restrict the score to a moderate band. A greater focus on correct word formation and spelling precision would elevate the lexical quality.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional ideas. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement errors ('brands and companiees produced', 'sugar-rich foods releases'), missing articles, awkward preposition use, and incorrect punctuation such as comma splices ('Nowadays, brands and companiees produced several products, it contains high amount...'). While the meaning can generally be deciphered, these persistent inaccuracies across different sentence structures impact the overall control of grammar and punctuation.
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