Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is now widespread that countless individuals are consuming processed foods and drinks even though they knew the actual deleterious effects of these manufactured products contain poisonus ingredients for health like high level proceed sugar,or others. Though awareness can play a pivotal role in reducing consumption of these products I strongly believe that government restrictions and commercial rate increasing ideas will be being forced human beings to eat less these kinds of foods.

It is undenibly agreed to the whole world that only the rises of expenses of these products can make people forcefully stopped to eat. They almost make every food delicious and looking great that is why no one will stop consuming these for thinking about heath beneficiaries. People can only be less bought them by the government's rising expences methodology. Its almost impossible to prevent human beings consuming from it properly,but due to concering individual's heath this process can not only reduce human addiction of eating this processed foods and drinks . Instead of pushing strict regulations on human eating habits,the rule must be infrastructured for the commercial food industries so that they willingly or unwillingly use less chemicals or preservatives and make the price of them much higher than before. As people across the entire world are fond of saving money and buy products inside their limited budget it will definitely bring the proportion of buyers these contaminated foods less than mundane's. It will not only develop the human health conciousness but also build the economic sustainability in the world.

Another point of view, most of the people around the world are less health concious. If government represent the actual detrimental effects of consuming these foods in front of everyone in every single day, the human beings will pay more attention and concise with their health. Therefore, there is no doubt if government can bring the rules the severe health problem records will be definitely found less.

At the end of the day, human beings are the asset of the world so they must be secured with best foods which are safe and healthy for comsumption,added not contained highly proceed of sugar and other poisonus.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt regarding whether sugary products should be made more expensive to reduce consumption. Your position is stated in the introduction, where you strongly agree that government restrictions and commercial price increases will force people to eat less of these foods. However, the development of your ideas is limited and sometimes repetitive, as seen when you repeatedly mention making products more expensive without exploring broader nuances of the debate. To move towards a higher band, you need to extend your supporting points further, perhaps by discussing alternative measures or the socio-economic impacts of taxation in greater depth, ensuring that all parts of the argument are fully substantiated rather than restated.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays some overall organization with paragraph divisions, including an introduction and body paragraphs. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression between ideas, and the logical flow is frequently hindered by awkward transitions and confusing sentence connections. For instance, the transition between discussing individual health consciousness and imposing regulations on food industries feels abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often inadequate, repetitive, or inaccurate, such as 'Another point of view' which does not appropriately link the paragraph to the preceding argument. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the exact line of reasoning throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited in range, though minimally adequate to discuss the topic of processed foods and health. You attempt to use some less common vocabulary items, such as 'deleterious effects', 'pivotal role', and 'economic sustainability', but these attempts are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, including phrases like 'commercial rate increasing ideas', 'less bought them', and 'health concious'. Additionally, spelling errors such as 'poisonus', 'proceed', 'undenibly', and 'concierge' appear throughout the text. These lexical slips and inaccuracies sometimes cause difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from achieving a higher level of precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay relies on a limited range of sentence structures, and your attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to awkward constructions such as 'will be being forced human beings to eat less these kinds of foods' and 'if government can bring the rules the severe health problem records will be definitely found less.' There are frequent grammatical errors involving verb forms, tenses, article usage, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, such as missing articles before singular nouns and incorrect gerund usage after prepositions. These frequent errors place a heavy burden on the reader and can occasionally cause confusion, meaning you must work on improving basic structural accuracy and variety.

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