Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that manufactured food and drinks comprise high amount of sugar that ca lead to many health issues. Whereas others believe that the food and drinks containing sugar should made more expensive that will likely encourage individuals to consume less sugar products. I largely agree with this fact because it will help to decrease the upcoming health problems. My stance is discussed below.

In the recent decades consumptions of sugary food and drinks has rosed widely, that is leading to many health issues such as obesity. One of the major cause of obesity is the connsumption of more sweet products due to the deposition of sugar in body it leads to increase in fat that might leads to heart problems. Sugar act as fuel for brain to enhance thinnking and help the muscles for glucose intake to produce energy in the form of ATP. For instance, more consumption of sugar will lead to more glucose intake and will increase the risk of overweight and BMI surged.

Additionally, the second leading cause of overeating of sugar that increase the glucose level and decline the level of insulin in the body that cause Diabetes Mellitus one of leading problem in todays era. it will decrease the production of insulin that will affect cells and will nit bbe able to produce energy in form of ATP potentially making prone to many adverse effect of diabetes. For instance, people with this problems tend to develop gangrene and sore foot.

Concluding, the major causes of increase consumption of sugar is exposing to many health problems. By making the products containig sugar more expensive will encourage people to buy less cause of more expanse and will help in decreasing health issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you largely agree that making sugary products more expensive could reduce consumption and health problems. You address the health effects with examples such as obesity, heart problems and diabetes, so the response remains relevant to the question. However, the central proposal—whether higher prices actually encourage people to buy less—is asserted rather than explained in the body paragraphs. The discussion focuses mainly on how sugar affects health, and the final paragraph repeats the claim without developing its likely impact or considering a limitation, such as whether people might switch to other cheap sugary foods. Develop this policy argument and connect each example more directly to your position to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs also have distinct purposes, with the first discussing obesity and the second diabetes. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “For instance” and “Concluding” help signal movement between points. However, progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the explanation of sugar as fuel for the brain and muscles interrupts the point about obesity, while the diabetes paragraph contains several connected claims without clear sentence boundaries. Some links are mechanical, and references such as “this fact” and “this problems” are not always precise. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain and illustrate it in a clear sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt topic-specific vocabulary, including “obesity,” “glucose,” “insulin,” “ATP” and “Diabetes Mellitus,” which gives the response some relevant range. There are also efforts to use more formal expressions, such as “adverse effect” and “encourage individuals.” However, inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make ideas less clear: “consumptions” is used where “consumption” is needed, “has rosed” is not a natural expression, and “more expanse” does not convey the intended meaning. Several phrases are also awkward, including “BMI surged” and “sore foot.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding technical terms; checking spelling and choosing familiar precise wording will improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast in the introduction and cause-and-effect explanations in the body. This shows some range, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in examples such as “consumptions … has rosed,” “One of the major cause,” and “Sugar act.” Several sentences are incomplete or joined incorrectly, particularly “Additionally, the second leading cause…” and the long sentence beginning “One of the major cause of obesity…”. Articles and sentence punctuation also need attention. These issues sometimes make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, tense and punctuation when revising.

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