Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is often argued that synthetic products food and drink contain enormous amount of sugar, which causes several health issues. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume low number of sugar.

The first reason why I agree with these

statement is that sugary drink contain high level of carbonic acids to consume it on daily basis which ultimately affect on health. For example high level of sugar in brain causes Alzheimer's disease .

An other significant reason is that if we intake more sugar it ultimately affect multiple organs in human body. Moreover government should banned high sugary diet products in the market. In other words high sugar harmful for human.

From my perspective i believe that every sugary product banned in market. As a result 80 % people survive with healthy life.

Moreover, if Government should increases their prices on sugary drink or sugary food it spread curiosity in the market, Because everything beyond their prices should more admire people to buy these thing or to eat such expensive thing. But I personally believe that if we skip sugar in our diet it beneficial, I personally experienced these thing ,I completely skip sugar in my diet after that I feel fresh lack of tiredness feeling happy. along with that concentration also improve focus on things.

Meanwhile I personally treated such type of patient in OPD setup patient come with chief complain of mental illness or loss of dementia. High level of sugar in blood cause diabetic which eventually affect on multiple organs.

Conclusion, I completely agree with these statement people should skip sugar in diet.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear in broad terms: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you include personal experience and an example from your work in an OPD. However, the response only partially develops the task. Much of the discussion shifts from pricing to banning sugary products or eliminating sugar entirely, which does not directly explain how higher prices would reduce consumption. The claim that higher prices “spread curiosity” is also unclear and seems to contradict your argument. Some health points, such as the link to Alzheimer’s disease, are asserted without explanation or support. To strengthen the response, focus on the effects of price increases, explain each reason, and use relevant examples to support your position. The length requirement is met; 12 words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

You make an effort to organise the response into an opening, supporting points and a conclusion, and connectors such as “For example,” “Moreover” and “As a result” show an attempt to link ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the paragraphs do not consistently develop one central point. For instance, the discussion moves from sugar and health to banning products, then to your personal diet and clinical experience, without clearly connecting these examples to higher prices. Some linking expressions are used inaccurately or mechanically, and the conclusion repeats agreement without summarising the main reasoning. Group related ideas into clear paragraphs and use transitions that show the precise relationship between them.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “health issues,” “multiple organs,” “diabetic” and “concentration,” so the reader can identify the subject of your argument. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations make meaning unclear. Examples include “synthetic products food and drink,” “low number of sugar,” “carbonic acids” and “spread curiosity.” Repetition of “sugar,” “high level” and “personally” also limits flexibility. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “processed food and drinks,” “consume less sugar,” “high sugar content” and “discourage consumers.” Check word forms and spelling as well, including “another” and “banned,” so that errors do not distract from your ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use clauses with “which,” “if” and “because,” but control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that make the relationships between ideas hard to understand. For example, “sugary drink contain high level … which ultimately affect on health” has problems with agreement and sentence construction, while “if Government should increases their prices” combines incompatible verb forms. Articles, plurals and punctuation are also often inaccurate, as in “An other significant reason” and the inconsistent capitalisation of “i” and “Government.” Build accuracy first with clear subject–verb patterns, then add complex clauses. Proofread each sentence for agreement, verb form, articles and sentence boundaries.

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