Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

To begin with , there are several reasons sugar less products is important in our daily life . The main reasons is that daily routine in foods and drink eat the big problem in health all drink in sugar less other people in health problems can have dircet effect on people and society . Many people face this health issue in their daily lives , it can influence their lifestyle in different way . For example it may negative effect main sugar drinks pepsi , cocola , lemmon malt , red bull , and other drinks can have health problems . In addition , young people , children , and families can also be influenced by this situation . In my opinion the new law in pakistan all drink in ban all schools and educational system in children and young people were health is very important . The important point is that sugary product in health problem but other people intrested can have both postive and negative effects . It mainly depends on how people use it and how they deal with the situation .

Moreover , there are some possible control the sugar less drink way to improve the health . People should have proper knowledge and should make responsible decisions . The government , schools , and families manufactured food can also play an important role by providing guidance and support . The government institute food authortiy in pakistan all cheq the resturants .

In conclusion , health problem is important issue that should not be ignored . If people which work togather , negative efect can be reduced and improve the situation . And control the manufactured foods and drinks people way the positive effect improve the situations .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response is only minimally focused on the question, which asks whether sugary products should cost more to reduce consumption. You mention health problems and refer to a possible Pakistani policy, but do not clearly state whether you agree or disagree with increasing prices. The discussion of banning drinks in schools and checking restaurants shifts toward other measures, without explaining whether higher prices would work or why. Examples such as Pepsi and Red Bull are relevant to sugary drinks, but their health effects are asserted rather than explained or supported. To strengthen the response, state your position directly in the introduction and develop two reasons that specifically address price increases, such as how cost may influence purchasing or how it could affect lower-income consumers.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall structure, with an opening paragraph, a further paragraph beginning “Moreover,” and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “In addition” and “In conclusion” show an attempt to guide the reader. However, ideas within paragraphs are difficult to follow because several points are combined without clear relationships; for example, the discussion moves from health effects to children, a school ban, and then positive and negative effects. Some references, including “this situation” and “it,” do not make the intended idea clear. Organise each body paragraph around one main point, explain it in a logical sequence, and use linking words only where they accurately show the connection.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a basic range of topic vocabulary, including “health problems,” “sugary product,” “government,” and “families,” and attempts some relevant terms such as “responsible decisions” and “guidance and support.” However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise, and several phrases make the meaning hard to understand, such as “sugar less products,” “the big problem in health,” and “all cheq the resturants.” Spelling errors, including “drect,” “authortiy,” and “togather,” also reduce clarity. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing the issue, such as “sugar-free products,” “health risks,” “inspect restaurants,” and “reduce consumption,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to form longer sentences and use clauses, for example, “Many people face this health issue in their daily lives, it can influence their lifestyle in different way.” However, sentence boundaries are often unclear, and errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction frequently make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “The main reasons is,” “young people … can also be influenced,” and “If people which work togather.” Commas are also used to join complete thoughts where a full stop or conjunction is needed. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clear connectors such as “because” and “although”; check subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms when editing.

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