Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The number of sugar intakes has been increased significently in individuals life, which is causing people to suffer with various health problems. Some people believe that, the price of sugary manufactured products should be expensive, so that people will reduce to purchase such products. I complitely agree with the statement, that manufacture product price should me rise, but giving alternative choise would be better like consume fruit insted of manufacture product. Additioanlly, providing education about nutrients to the people would be benoficial as well, because many people are uneducated.

Firstly, the people are consuming high amout of sugar which is causing various health problems. One of the main reason that people are consuming sugary product cause, it is cheap. For example, when any product are affordable then there is high likely that people will purchase such product. By increasing the price people can reduce to purchase such products. However, suger is an essential nutrionts for our body, so the other goods that contains sugar should be affordable. For instance, fruites which are healthy to consume, and benificial for the body.

Secondly, many people on the society are unaware about the side-effect of consuming high sugar product. For instance, in many area people are uneducated, so they are consuming sugary products without noticing the effects. If the people were more educated about nutients, then they might control their intake amout of sugar. For instance, spreading knowledge helps people to know about the affects along with the advantage of consuming suger.

In conclusion, consuming heavy amount manufactured sugary products are harmful so increasing the price of such food can be helpfull, however suger is essential for our body so reducing price of natural products that contain sugar can be benificial. Additionally, spreading knowledge about nutrients intake can be helpful for the people, so that they can consume according to their body.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you completely agree that manufactured sugary products should cost more, and you also propose education and healthier alternatives. The response addresses the main parts of the question and gives relevant reasons, including affordability as a driver of purchases and limited awareness of health effects. The examples about affordable products and fruit help illustrate these points. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. In particular, the claim that fruit should be made more affordable is not clearly connected to how higher prices for sugary products would reduce consumption, and the education argument could explain more specifically what health outcomes or choices would change. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation and a more precise example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. The main ideas are generally arranged in a sensible order, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “However,” and “Additionally” help guide the reader. At times, though, cohesion feels mechanical, and some connections are unclear. The first body paragraph moves from higher prices to the essential role of sugar and then to fruit without fully explaining the relationship between these points. “For instance” is also repeated, and the conclusion largely restates earlier claims. Use clearer transitions between contrasting ideas and make each paragraph’s central point and supporting explanation more tightly connected.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “health problems,” “affordable,” “side-effect,” “nutrients,” and “intake.” This gives you enough language to communicate your main ideas, but the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make the writing less natural. Examples include “sugar intakes,” “manufacture product,” “consume less,” and repeated misspellings such as “suger” and “benificial.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “heavy amount manufactured sugary products.” Build a bank of accurate topic collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you express the distinction between added sugar in processed products and naturally occurring sugar in fruit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “which,” “so that,” and “if,” and your overall meaning is usually understandable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms. For example, “The number of sugar intakes has been increased” has an awkward passive construction, while “One of the main reason … cause” combines mismatched singular forms and an unclear clause. In “when any product are affordable,” the subject and verb do not agree. Some sentences also lack a clear grammatical connection, as in “For instance, fruites which are healthy to consume.” Practise building accurate complex sentences and check each sentence for a clear subject, verb, and complete clause.

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