Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This is an ongoing debate on manufacturing and consumption of high level of sugar and drink products which are causing many health problems. While arguing about increasing the price of sugary products will encourage people to consume less sugar. In my outlook, manufacturing of high level of sugary products will impact. However, increasing the price of sugary products will also motivate people to buy less.

On the one hand, increasing the price of sugary products will stimulate people to buy less sugary products as it will cause many health problems to them such as obesity, heart diseases, increase in sugar levels and many more. As a result, it will motivate them to buy nutritious products which will also improve their health. To quote an example, if there is hike in price of a product it will effect their daily wages and boost them to think before buying such products. Manufacturers will also think and start making less sugary products.

On the other hand, increase in price will not only solve this problem as people still crave to eat sugar products. As a result, it will still effect their health. Moreover, it will also effect their financial income as some people have low income. To give an example, some people are not aware how sugar can effect their health so they keep on eating sugar products as they enjoy eating them.

In conclusion, government should take some necessary steps to educate and spread awareness among the people about their health and benefits. Also, tell them what healthier alternatives they can take by conducting seminars or workshops in companies, societies etc.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the question by discussing both the possible benefit of higher prices and the limits of this approach, and your conclusion recommends education and healthier alternatives. However, your position is not consistently clear: “In my outlook” is followed by an unclear claim about manufacturing, while the essay later suggests that price increases may not solve the problem. The main supporting ideas—health risks, effects on daily wages, and continued cravings—are relevant but are asserted rather than explained in depth. For example, you could clarify how a price rise might change purchasing habits and acknowledge who may be most affected. Develop a definite view on whether you agree, then support it with a specific example and a fuller explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This helps readers identify the main sections. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several links are mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “As a result” and “Moreover.” The introduction’s sentence beginning “While arguing about increasing the price…” is incomplete, which makes the opening argument difficult to follow. The conclusion introduces education as the main recommendation without clearly connecting it to your earlier discussion of pricing. Use clearer topic sentences and explain how each example supports the paragraph’s central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “health problems,” “nutritious products,” “low income,” and “healthier alternatives,” so the reader can understand the general subject. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, such as “sugary products” and “effect their health.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “manufacturing and consumption of high level of sugar,” “in my outlook,” and “hike in price.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less precise. Aim to use more accurate topic-specific expressions, such as “products with a high sugar content,” “in my view,” and “a price increase.” Vary repeated terms with suitable alternatives, while ensuring that each phrase fits its context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. For example, “While arguing about increasing the price…” is a dependent clause without a complete main clause, and “In my outlook, manufacturing … will impact” lacks a clear grammatical completion. There are also problems with articles and number in “high level of sugar,” and the conclusion’s “Also, tell them…” is a sentence fragment. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check article use and singular/plural agreement. Vary sentence patterns, but prioritise accuracy.

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