Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Manufactured foods and beverages contain very high amount of sugar and thus, pose health risks to many individuals. However, there will be negligible effects on customers if such products are made more expensive.

The primary reason for this is that these products are distributed widely across the world and are highly addictive. For example, leading soft drink companies advise in their advertisement itself that the drink contains sugar and may be harmful to the health but that has almost no effect. Therefore, this solution won't be viable and some people, will be obliged to pay those extra costs too. This would lead the solution to not encapsulate the entire community.

Moreover, people with good financial background would be resilient with the rising cost which would consequently spark no motivation amongst them to reduce sugar consumption. In real life, this would lead to a social validation phenomena wherein others would also want to replicate the rich people's consumption preferences, causing a reverse effect of the solution.

The consumers are not the only ones affected though. Companies operating in this sector may face huge losses if the new cost won't be accepted, which would cause a drastic decline in their sales. For instance, many global companies have faced a slump in their sales due to increasing product prices which the consumers protest against.

Lastly, we must not discount the fact that some people, such as marathon athletes, have dietary requirements to consume more than average sugar to help maintain their energy levels. If implemented, this solution would bound those people to not fulfil their daily sugar intake due to lack of affordability of sugary products.

Therefore, we must look for alternative solutions which would help tackle this problem without any side effects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that making sugary products more expensive is an effective solution, and you maintain this view throughout. You offer several relevant reasons, including the limited effect on consumers, the influence of wealthier people, possible effects on companies, and athletes’ dietary needs. These points show a sound response to the question. However, some are asserted more than demonstrated. For example, the claim that higher prices could cause companies “huge losses” would be stronger with a clearer explanation of how this relates to reducing sugar consumption. The athlete example is also narrow and does not fully address the broader public-health issue. To develop the response further, explain the likely impact of price increases and support key claims with more precise reasoning or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an opening position, separate paragraphs presenting reasons, and a concluding recommendation. Paragraphs generally focus on one main point, and transitions such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” and “Lastly” help readers follow the argument. This gives the essay a coherent progression. Some connections, however, are mechanical or not fully explained. The move from wealthy consumers to “social validation” and then to others copying their preferences needs a clearer logical link. Similarly, the paragraph about company losses shifts attention from the effectiveness of the proposed policy without explicitly connecting the point back to the question. Use linking phrases selectively and make the relationship between each reason and your central argument explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “health risks,” “addictive,” “resilient,” “dietary requirements,” and “sugar consumption.” These choices help express several distinct arguments, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at less common or abstract phrasing, such as “social validation phenomena,” but some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural: “good financial background,” “the solution to not encapsulate the entire community,” and “bound those people to not fulfil” do not convey the intended ideas naturally. “Advertisement itself” is also an awkward collocation. Aim for precise, conventional phrasing rather than complex wording where the fit is uncertain; this will make your argument sound more fluent and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “if,” “which,” and “wherein.” Most sentences communicate their meaning, and the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors and awkward constructions persist, however. In “very high amount of sugar,” the singular count expression needs an article or a plural form; “some people, will be obliged” has an unnecessary comma; and “if the new cost won’t be accepted” uses an unsuitable future form in the conditional. The final sentence about athletes also has a faulty construction: “would bound those people to not fulfil” should be recast with a more accurate verb pattern. Review articles, punctuation around clauses, and conditional structures, then proofread complex sentences for grammatical control.

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