Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this globalised world advancement of technology contains high levels of sugar in food and drinks cause of health problems has become conterversial isuee.Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar , which causes many health problems.Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar .I will discuss both sides and then give my own opinion at the end .I will strongly agree with manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which causes many health problems.

On the one hand , there are several losses of contains high levels of sugar. For eample high level sugar produce more diaseas like diabeates and blood pressure . Furthermore, these are losses on health this time in my mind but also more prevent diaseas thats why many manufactured food and drinks contain high level of sugar cause many health problems.

On the other hands, some argues should be made more epensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.Although, if these items makes expensive most of people not buying it . Also that companies and factories should be observed to reduce high levels of sugar in manufactured food and drinks .Morever, in case if the companies not to stop contains high level of sugar goverment should be take action on that from this impact encourage to people consume less sugar .

In conslusion, according to me high levels of sugar increase the chances of diaseas like heart problems and some other problems.It may say that should be contain in consume less sugar if is not so that very risky .Finally, less sugar is benficitial for health and sweetness is very good

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a position—“I will strongly agree”—and mention relevant concerns, including diabetes and other health problems. You also refer to the proposed price increase and suggest that companies reduce sugar or that the government take action. However, the response only partially develops the task: it does not clearly explain how higher prices would reduce consumption, and the discussion of the opposing view is difficult to follow. The conclusion introduces further unclear claims rather than firmly summarising your reasons. The response is 234 words, below the required 250; 45 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop two clear reasons with specific explanations or examples, and make your position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: you use an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hands,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a general sense of the response’s parts. However, progression within paragraphs is weak, and several sentences repeat the prompt or do not connect clearly to the point being made. For example, “these are losses on health this time in my mind” is hard to relate to the surrounding ideas, while the second body paragraph shifts from prices to company monitoring and government action without explaining the links. Use one main idea per paragraph, arrange supporting details in a clear order, and use linking phrases only when their relationship is accurate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “manufactured food and drink products,” “consume less sugar,” “health problems,” and “government should take action.” These choices show an attempt to address the topic directly. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors strain understanding: “diaseas,” “epensive,” “conslusion,” and “benficitial” are examples. Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “losses of contains high levels of sugar” and “more prevent diaseas.” Build a reliable set of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations. Prefer precise expressions such as “reduce sugar consumption” and “increase the risk of diabetes” over repeated or unclear wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer structures, including “Although, if these items makes expensive most of people not buying it,” and use basic sentence forms to communicate your general position. However, the range is very limited, and frequent errors in sentence construction, agreement, verb forms, and punctuation sometimes distort meaning. For example, “these items makes” has incorrect agreement, while “companies and factories should be observed to reduce” does not clearly express who should monitor them or what action is required. The opening sentence is also difficult to parse because several ideas run together. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with correct subjects and verbs; use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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