Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is definitly har nut to crack aaaas whether as to encourage an individuals to intake less sugar, the price of food and drink products must made more high or not, though few people may approve the stated notion, yet I completely disagree with the given statement. However, the given passage have number of thesis along with my own point of viewwhich surround my opinion.
To commence with the first argument, It can be said that if the cost of sugary food and drinks is increased then middle class people may not able to purchase this as a result manufactured company may have to suffere from loss so, to overcome this government should encourage the manufactured company to use less sugar while preparing such kind of products. In addition companies must use alternative source of sugar like honey for preparing food and drinks. To illustrate, a school must organised awareness program in which they teach them about the harmful effects of intaking high amount of sugar, so the students may less consume these type of food products.
In addition, Some individuals continue to buy these products despite the increased cost which may add extra burden on their pockets due to which one can ignore the basic needs they required to just buy surgary products: Meanwhile, Governemnt should also educate people about healthy eating while conduction seminars related to healthcare and wellbeing. For example, within a year the government must organise a seminar to spread awareness about excessive use of sugary products.
In contrast, company must increased prices so that people may discourage of buying these products as a result individuals may choose healthy alternatives such as fruits and dry fruits. meanwhile, excessive sugar consumption may lead obesity, diabetes and tooth decay so, to reduce such health issues sugar intake must reduce. For instance, a tax on buying sugary product may lead to frequently less assumptions.
Finally to conclude, it can be said that despite of having some approve, I disagree the mentioned notion as it causes many concerns .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You state a clear overall disagreement in the introduction and conclusion, and you identify relevant concerns, including the effect of higher prices on consumers and the health risks of excessive sugar. However, the position becomes inconsistent: the third body paragraph says companies should increase prices and explains possible benefits, which supports the proposal you reject. Several points are also under-developed or unclear. For example, the claim that higher prices could prevent middle-class people from buying products is not supported with a specific explanation, and the suggestion to use honey does not explain how this would address the health problem. Develop fewer arguments more fully and ensure each paragraph consistently supports your stated position.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The response has an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can recognise an attempt to organise the discussion. However, progression between ideas is not consistently clear. The paragraph beginning “In contrast” introduces an argument in favour of higher prices, conflicting with the disagreement stated elsewhere, and the conclusion does not resolve this contradiction. Linking expressions such as “In addition,” “Meanwhile,” and “Finally” are used, but some are mechanical or do not show the relationship between the ideas accurately. References such as “this” and “these type of food products” can also leave the reader unsure what is meant. Give each paragraph one clear purpose, order the reasons logically, and use linking phrases to express precise relationships.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “alternative source,” “harmful effects,” “excessive sugar consumption,” and “tooth decay.” These choices show some awareness of the language needed to discuss health and consumer behaviour. However, the range is limited and errors in spelling, word form, and collocation are noticeable, sometimes making meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “intaking,” “surgary,” “frequently less assumptions,” and “manufactured company.” Some phrases, such as “a number of thesis,” are also unsuitable for this context. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and natural word combinations; this will help you express your ideas more clearly and precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if the cost … is increased then … may not able to purchase this” and a reason-result construction about health problems. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “the given passage have number of thesis” has incorrect agreement and missing articles, while “company must increased prices” uses an incorrect verb form. Punctuation is also unreliable in long sentences joined by commas. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, modal verb patterns, and sentence boundaries, then check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.
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