Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, in every food product there is high concentration of sugar, which may cause many health problems. If the government or higher authorities impose high taxes or increase prices of sugar products then people will consume less. I agree with the view of making sugar more expensive, however there are some situations where people can consume more sugar.

To begin with making sugar more expensive, this will help people to control more on eating food and drinks which have a higher level of sugar content. This development directly affects their health by reducing the chance of diabetes. For instance, according to one survey, people consuming less sugar has lower chance of suffering from diabetes, because it controls insulin levels. Besides this, people will try to shift from unhealthy food items to healthier options. This change will encourage people to consume fruit juice rather than soft drinks or to eat healthy vegetables as compared to sugary items.

However, this development has some negative impact, such as finding an alternative source of sugar or sugary products. Individuals will try to use various artificial sweaters or chemical compounds which are not tested in labs. By consuming such items one may suffer from disease such as cancer or tuberculosis. In spite of this, if proper strategic action are taken by higher authorities to encourage people regarding consumption of artificial sweaters, then this problem can be solved.

To summarize, sugar consumption should be controlled by making it expensive so that people can consume less and it has various health benefits. In my opinion it is very important to make sugar expensive, but effective steps should be taken to reduce the chance of consuming alternative sources.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you explain likely benefits such as reducing diabetes risk and encouraging healthier choices. You also address a possible drawback—people turning to artificial substitutes—so the response covers both the proposal and a qualification. The examples about fruit juice and soft drinks help make the argument concrete. However, some support is under-developed: the survey claim is vague, and the link between artificial sweeteners and serious illnesses is asserted rather than explained or supported. The final paragraph repeats your position but could draw the reasoning together more fully. More precise evidence and fuller explanation of the counterargument would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “However,” and “To summarize” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. This gives the essay coherent progression, although some connections are mechanical and the development within paragraphs is uneven. For example, the move from artificial substitutes to cancer or tuberculosis is abrupt, and “In spite of this” does not clearly show how the proposed action resolves that concern. The conclusion also largely repeats the introduction. Use more precise links between claims and explanations, and make references such as “this development” clearly identify the specific measure or effect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to discuss the issue, including “sugar content,” “insulin levels,” “artificial” alternatives, and “consumption.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “impose high taxes” and “strategic action.” However, several word-choice, spelling, and collocation problems reduce precision: “artificial sweaters” appears to mean “artificial sweeteners,” “control more on eating” is unnatural, and “higher concentration” would be clearer as “high levels.” Some expressions are also vague, including “various health benefits” and “proper strategic action.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and use specific terms consistently; this will make the argument clearer without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If the government … impose high taxes … then people will consume less” and a subordinate clause beginning “because it controls insulin levels.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “people consuming less sugar has” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “if proper strategic action are taken” has disagreement between the subject and verb. The opening phrase “To begin with making sugar more expensive” is also awkwardly constructed, while “the chance of consuming alternative sources” has an unclear grammatical relationship. Review agreement, clause construction, and sentence phrasing, while continuing to use varied sentence patterns.

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