Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that some factory made edible products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health concerning problems. Such products should be made pricey to persuade individuals to intake low amount sugar. While some people may disagree with this view, I completely agree with this statement. Because excessive sugar intake caused many health issues and also make people inactive.

The primary reason for my view is that high amount of sugar intake leads individual to many health problems. However, our body does not require high amount of sugar because every food turns into glucose in human body. For instance, a person who eats sugary food on daily basis might have a higher risk of stroke and diabetes. As a result, all of us should eliminate high sugar products from our diet.

The another key argument is that high levels of glucose in body makes people inactive physically or mentally. Because of, the products which contains high levels of sugar reduce the chances of releasing dopamine in human brain whick makes people sluggish. To illustrate, in developing countries people are very much concerned about their diet and lifestyle and their top priority is to avoid such kind of products whick makes them inactive. Therefore, they try their best to achieve a a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, although some individuals believe that sugar is good for health we should cosume this in high amount, I believe high intake of sugar caused several health issues and also make people inactive in their lifestyles.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You state a clear position—“I completely agree”—and give two relevant reasons: health risks and reduced activity. The examples of stroke and diabetes help illustrate the first point, but the explanations are brief and some claims, especially the link between sugar and dopamine, are not clearly supported. The conclusion repeats your view rather than adding a developed final insight. The response also contains 243 words, so it is 7 words below the required minimum; the 10 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. This shortfall limits the space available to explain and support your ideas. To strengthen the response, develop each reason with a clearer explanation and a specific, relevant example, while maintaining your position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. This makes the overall direction easy to follow, and signposts such as “The primary reason,” “To illustrate,” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the claim about dopamine is followed by a broad statement about people in developing countries, without explaining how that example demonstrates the effect of sugar. Some linking is also mechanical, and sentence fragments beginning “Because” interrupt the flow. Build clearer links between each claim, explanation, and example, and use transitions that show the precise relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “excessive sugar intake,” “health problems,” “stroke,” “diabetes,” and “healthy lifestyle.” These choices make the subject clear, and there are attempts to use less common language. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “factory made edible products,” “intake low amount sugar,” and “high amount of sugar intake.” Spelling errors such as “whick” and “cosume” also reduce accuracy. Some wording is repetitive, particularly the repeated references to high sugar and inactivity. Aim for more natural collocations and precise phrasing, and check spelling carefully; this will make your argument easier to read and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession in “While some people may disagree with this view” and a relative clause in “a person who eats sugary food.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “Because excessive sugar intake caused many health issues” is an incomplete sentence and uses an unsuitable tense; “high levels of glucose in body makes people” has an agreement error; and “the products which contains” also has incorrect subject–verb agreement. Articles and sentence boundaries need attention as well. Practise forming complete sentences and checking each subject against its verb, while keeping some varied sentence structures.

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