Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is though that many processed food and drink contain large amount of sugar, which can lead various health issues. I disagree with the idea that increasing the prices of sugary products is an effective way to encourage people to reduce their sugar consumption.

One reason why I disagree with increasing the prices of sugary products is that it could negatively effect people on lower incomes. if the price of these product rise, low incomes individuals may face additional financial pressure when buying food and drink for their families. Furthermore, increasing price does not necessarily means that people will reduce their sugar consumption. as some may continues purchasing these product despite higher costs. Therefor, educating people about the health risk of excessive sugar consumption may be more effective approach.

Another reason why I disagree with this approach is that educating people about the harmful effect of excessive sugar consumption would be more effective. If people understand with health risk associated with consuming to much sugar, they may become more willing to make healthier food choice. For example, schools and health organisations could raise awareness about the link between excessive sugar intake and disease such as diabetes. This would make people informed decisions about thier diets without placing an additional financial burden on consumers.

In conclusion, I disagree with increasing the prices of sugary products because this could place an additional financial burden on people with lower incomes. Instead, educating the public about the harmful effects of excessive sugar consumption would be a more effective way to encourage healthier eating habits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction and maintained in the conclusion: you oppose higher prices and favour public education. Both reasons are relevant, and the example of schools and health organisations raising awareness about diabetes helps illustrate the alternative. This meets the task well overall. However, the two body paragraphs overlap: both argue that education is more effective, while the point about the impact on lower-income households is not developed with a specific explanation or example. The claim that higher prices may not change purchasing is also asserted rather than supported. To strengthen the response, develop each reason separately and explain more fully how it answers whether price increases would reduce sugar consumption.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress logically, and signposting such as “One reason,” “Another reason” and “In conclusion” makes the argument easy to follow. The contrast between price increases and education is also clear. However, the second body paragraph repeats the education argument already introduced at the end of the first, so the progression is not fully effective. Some linking is mechanical, and the reference in “this approach” could be more precise. Give each paragraph a distinct purpose—for example, develop the financial and behavioural drawbacks separately, then explain education as an alternative—and use links that show the relationship between ideas rather than relying mainly on formulaic openings.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financial pressure,” “health risk,” “excessive sugar consumption” and “raise awareness.” These phrases communicate the main ideas clearly, and the meaning remains understandable despite some inaccuracies. However, several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors reduce precision: “large amount of sugar” would be more natural as “large amounts of sugar,” while “make people informed decisions” is not idiomatic. There are also misspellings such as “thier” and “Therefor.” Aim to check spelling carefully and learn common word partnerships, especially when discussing health, prices and consumer behaviour. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish your points and avoid repeating “effective” and “sugar consumption.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including conditional sentences such as “If the price of these product rise…” and a relative clause in the opening sentence. The overall meaning is usually clear, and the conclusion is grammatically straightforward. However, some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries remain. For example, “these product rise” needs plural agreement, “does not necessarily means” should use the base verb after “does,” and “if” and “as” begin sentences with lowercase letters. The conditional sentence beginning “If people understand…” also needs a grammatically complete construction. Review subject–verb agreement, verb patterns after auxiliaries, and sentence punctuation, while continuing to practise complex sentences with accurate clause structure.

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