Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this contemporary era, many of the manufactured food and cold drinks contains excess sugar, by which there are many health problems, like sugar and diabetes. Such as packed products should be available at the higher prices. I completely agree with this sugary products should have been more expensive, so the should buy it less and consume small amount of sugar.

Firstly, many manufactured products contains excess sugar, sugar keeps you active all the day, but with excess use of packed products, peoples are affected by diseases like sugar, diabetes, it can cause very serious health problems, such as heart failure or weakness in your body and sugar is not good for people. By eating the packed products daily, it can cause cancer by which you get a hair loss.

Secondly sugary products prices must be set to higher rates so that people cannot afford it. Then peoples directly moves towards the no added sugar products, with which they can stay healthy. For instance the new drink monster of Rs. 500, everyone should not have bought that, people will not be spending on these products. Companies have to make their strategies like this so that people will not consume excess sugar product. People can buy no added sugar products, so that which are available at cheap prices so they can stay healthy.

It is concluded that sugary products should not been consumed on a daily basis. Sometimes persons wishes to eat sugary products, so he can eat a little amount of product alternate days.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you give two relevant reasons—health risks and the possibility that higher prices will discourage purchases. The example of an expensive drink also supports your argument. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The health paragraph lists several serious outcomes without explaining how they relate specifically to high sugar consumption, and the pricing paragraph assumes people will switch to healthier products without considering whether this is likely or how companies might respond. The conclusion adds advice about eating sugary products on alternate days, but this is not fully connected to the proposed price policy. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and a more credible example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs signposted by “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a concluding sentence. This helps the reader identify your main position and supporting points. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from sugar providing energy to diabetes, heart failure, weakness, cancer and hair loss without clear links or prioritisation. Some connections are also unclear, as in “Then peoples directly moves towards the no added sugar products.” Repeated references to “packed products” and “sugar” make the argument feel repetitive, while linking phrases sometimes create a mechanical sequence rather than showing precise relationships. Group related ideas, explain each link, and use clear referencing to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of topic vocabulary, including “manufactured products,” “excess sugar,” “health problems,” and “no added sugar products,” so the general subject is understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “sugar and diabetes” appears to mean “diabetes,” while “sugar keeps you active all the day” and “sugar product” are imprecise expressions. “Peoples” is also an incorrect plural form, and “a hair loss” is not a natural phrase. Aim for more precise terms such as “sugar-related illnesses,” “sugary drinks,” and “reduce consumption,” and check collocations and word forms when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the overall meaning can usually be understood. However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur frequently in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction. For example, “food and cold drinks contains” should use a plural verb, while “people directly moves” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening also contains an incomplete or awkward construction: “Such as packed products should be available at the higher prices.” Several ideas are joined into long sentences with unclear boundaries, particularly in the first body paragraph. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using subordinate clauses and appropriate punctuation. Check each sentence for a clear subject, verb and complete meaning.

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