Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I agree that many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which obviously causes many health problems though, i srungly disagree that the sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Most of the food we consume expecially, in Africa contains more sugar from cassava, garri, rice, yame e.t.c

almost a hundred percent sugar added with the manufactured food and drink products which includes all the cocacola products, bottled soft drinks and juice. the excess sugar intake has caused some health problems like Diabetis, High blood pressure, short sitedness and many other diseases. i advice that the NAFDAC should look into the food industries as to reduce the sugar content in their products as to make it healthy enough for human consumption.

Secondly, people should be educated on the dengers of much intake of sugar as it's not healthy when consumed in excess being that most of the natural food we eat on daily bases also contains sugar.

The cost of the sugary product, if made expenssive as to use it as a stratagy to make people to consume less of sugar is not a good idear. there are people who has enough money to buy anything they want and when the price of sugar is increased , they will still buy and enjoy themselves without knowing the implications.

in conclusion, i will strongly advice that people should be educated than the price reduction in sugary products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear by the end: you oppose making sugary products more expensive and prefer education and regulation. You also give relevant reasons, including that wealthier consumers may continue buying them, and mention health effects and NAFDAC. However, the opening is confusing because it first says “I agree” before stating that you strongly disagree with the proposed measure. The reasons are only briefly explained, and the health claims and examples are not developed enough to fully support your argument. The response also contains 222 words, so it is 28 words below the 250-word minimum; the 24 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each main reason with explanation or a specific example, and state your position consistently from the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas are generally relevant, and “Secondly” signals a new point. However, progression is not always clear. The first body paragraph combines food sources, manufactured products, health effects and a recommendation, making its central point difficult to follow. The transition from this discussion to education, and then to the price argument, is abrupt. Some linking phrases, such as “as to,” are repeated and do not clearly show the relationship between ideas. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, use clearer links to explain cause and contrast, and ensure the conclusion follows directly from the arguments presented.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “sugar content,” “health problems,” “consumed in excess” and “implications,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, such as “Diabetis,” “dengers,” “expenssive” and “stratagy.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, including “short sitedness” and “enjoy themselves” in the context of buying sugary products. Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations, such as naming specific health conditions carefully and describing how a price increase might affect purchasing. Vary repeated terms like “sugar” and “products” where this can be done naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the main argument can usually be understood. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation. For example, “there are people who has enough money” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “the sugary product should be made more expensive” does not use the plural consistently with the general claim. Several sentences begin with lowercase “i” or “in,” and the opening joins contrasting ideas in a confusing way. Practise building accurate complex sentences with clear clauses, and check agreement, articles and sentence boundaries. More reliable control of these basics would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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