Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many manufactured food and and drinks products contain high levels of sugar, which cause many health problems. I firmly believe that sugary items should me made more expensive to encourage people less sugar, and make items quality better. Only healthy fats were need to be added which contains less sugar, and lower the chance of healthcare problems regarding sugary items.

Initially, to improve products quality prices should be higher, high the amount of money they charge better quality they give. This can lead to lower the risk of health. For example, a company named dingdong which produce bubble gums in large amount in the asia, their market started decreasing gradually because of using poor ingredient were added to that item, was cheap in price and everyone containg more sugar by chewing it rather than a half kg synthatic sugar, people were stared to get sick. they change their product with adding new flavours which contains less sugar and high qualty ingridient were added to it and increased its price. Nowadays it has largest number of market in all over asia because of not compromicing on quality.

Improving the price of sugary products can lead to differnent kind of problems such as, everyone cant afford them for their daily use. Due to high rates people will choose price efficent products ehich fit on to their demands in a result, choose low quality with high sugar.

In conclusion, i believe that method of raising price of products are beneficial for the people to contain less sugar instead of choosing low quality items with higher chance of issues like obesity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You state a clear position in favour of making sugary products more expensive, and you give a relevant example about a bubble-gum company changing its ingredients and price. You also recognise a possible drawback: higher prices may lead some consumers to choose cheaper, high-sugar alternatives. However, the response only partly develops the question of whether price increases would reduce sugar consumption. The opening claim that higher prices produce better quality is asserted rather than explained, and the example focuses more on a company’s market success than on consumers eating less sugar. Develop the link between price, purchasing choices and health, and explain how the drawback affects your overall position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting higher prices, a paragraph describing a disadvantage, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Initially,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the long example, where several claims are joined together without clear relationships. The transition from arguing that higher prices improve quality to warning that people may buy cheaper products also needs a clearer explanation. Use shorter, more focused sentences and connect each example directly to the point it supports. This would make the overall organisation easier to follow and reduce reliance on basic signposting.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “high levels of sugar,” “ingredients,” “afford,” and “obesity,” so the reader can identify the subject and main ideas. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “price efficient products.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the argument unclear: “healthy fats” does not fit the point about reducing sugar, while “contain less sugar” and “compromising on quality” are not consistently expressed accurately. Spelling errors such as “qualty,” “ingridient,” and “synthetic” also reduce precision. Build a reliable set of phrases for discussing prices, ingredients, consumption and health, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “which causes many health problems” and a conditional-style explanation beginning “Due to high rates.” However, control is weak across many sentences, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to recover. Examples include “I firmly believe … should me made,” “everyone cant afford them,” and “their market started decreasing … because of using poor ingredient were added.” Subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries need particular attention. Some sentences also combine several clauses without a clear grammatical structure. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time, checking that each clause has a clear subject and verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.