Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Consumption of high-sugared manufactured food leads to a variety of health problems. We must act for the sake of our health and future. Therefore, I strongly agree with the increase of sugary products prices.

There are many researches, that have been conducted by scientists for years. Sugar has always been an addiction for humans, variety of tests and studies show how can sugar affect our health conditions. But, unfortunately, people never learn, they choose to suffer and deal with severe deseases starting with physical and ending with mental.

To be honest, I'm no exception. I have always been a sweet tooth, I can't help myself. Even though I understand the risks, I still have no controle over my actions. That's why I would want somebody else to help me with these. The conditions and circumstances that leave me and other individuals no choice but to give way. Therefore, I ex

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

Your position is clear in the opening: you “strongly agree” that prices should rise, and the personal example about finding it difficult to resist sweets is relevant to the issue. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it does not explain in enough detail how higher prices would reduce consumption or develop the health consequences with specific support. The claim that people “choose to suffer” is broad and does not establish why this policy would work. The final sentence is cut off (“Therefore, I ex”), leaving your reasoning and conclusion incomplete. The response also contains 150 words, below the required 250. To strengthen the answer, develop two clear reasons, explain each with an example, and complete the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall shape: an introduction states your view, followed by a paragraph about research and health, then a personal example. Linking expressions such as “Therefore,” “But,” and “Even though” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is limited: the research paragraph moves quickly from studies to addiction and then to people suffering, without explaining the links. The personal paragraph also ends abruptly, so the argument has no completed conclusion. Some connections are unclear, particularly “The conditions and circumstances that leave me and other individuals no choice but to give way,” which does not clearly follow from the preceding sentence. Organise the essay around distinct reasons and use each paragraph to explain one idea fully.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “manufactured food,” “health problems,” “addiction,” and “severe” conditions, and the reader can generally identify your topic and position. However, the range is limited, and several word choices or forms are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “high-sugared,” “increase of sugary products prices,” and “a sweet tooth” in the sentence “I have always been a sweet tooth.” Spelling errors such as “deseases” and “controle” are noticeable and reduce precision. Some phrases, including “deal with severe diseases starting with physical and ending with mental,” are difficult to interpret. Aim for accurate collocations and more precise language when describing health effects and pricing policies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, for example, “Even though I understand the risks, I still have no controle over my actions.” This shows an effort to use subordination, and several short sentences communicate your main point. However, the range is limited, and complex structures are often faulty or incomplete. In “There are many researches, that have been conducted,” the relative clause is punctuated incorrectly and the noun form is problematic; “studies” would fit the sentence. “Sugar has always been an addiction for humans, variety of tests…” joins two independent clauses without suitable punctuation or a conjunction. The final fragment, “The conditions and circumstances…,” is also not a complete sentence. Practise building complete sentences and checking clause boundaries.

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