Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, there are many types of artificially manufactured meals and drinks contain too much sugar, which affect to people's health. Some individuals believe sugay products should be more expensive to encourage people to eat low levels of sugar. This essay will discuss why I strongly disagree with this and doing a rising the price not effective to reduce sugar level.

Firstly, increasing the price of sugary products is not practical. Manufactures are tring to sell more products. If some food price increase, people will buy alternative products. Therefore, product owners will not increase these prices. For example, if Cocacola price increase, people will buy a Pepsi. These companies are calculate exact price based on marketing criterias. This will leads to people try to buy local or blackmarket sugary products. Some local products can bee affect to sugar level increase

Even though some how, the government manage to rise all sugary products price, people will try to make these foods on thier own, because they are addicted to these kinds of products. It is like alchohol addiction. Many people are buying alchohol product even though these are extremely expenseive. Increasing the sugar products is not encourage people to consume less sugar. It will caused many financial problems. Because people do not reduce suger product usage.

In conclusion, Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. However, increasing the price of suger products do not encourage people to consume less sugar. Because people are addicted to sugar products. Also increasing price is not practical.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive, and you give two relevant reasons—consumers may switch brands, and people may make sugary foods themselves. However, these points are only partly developed. The Coca-Cola/Pepsi example illustrates brand substitution, but the claim that manufacturers would not raise prices and the reference to a black market are not explained convincingly. The comparison with alcohol addiction is relevant but needs clearer support and a more direct link to the proposed policy. The response also falls 6 words short of the 250-word minimum; the 16 words copied from the task prompt are excluded from the count. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation or specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main position is repeated consistently. Basic signposting such as “Firstly,” “Even though,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the move from brand substitution to local or black-market products is abrupt, and the final sentence of the first body paragraph is incomplete in meaning. The second body paragraph also begins with the awkward transition “Even though some how,” while several ideas are repeated rather than developed. Use clearer links between each claim and its consequence, and make sure each paragraph has one focused line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general argument, including “sugary products,” “alternative products,” “addicted,” and “financial problems.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “artificially manufactured meals,” “a rising the price,” “marketing criterias,” and “sugar level increase.” There are also repeated forms such as “suger” and “sugay,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise phrases such as “processed foods and drinks,” “raise prices,” and “sugar consumption.” Proofreading spelling and choosing natural collocations will make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If some food price increase, people will buy alternative products” and a concession beginning “Even though…”. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences difficult to follow. For example, “there are many types … contain too much sugar” lacks a relative clause marker, “which affect to people’s health” has faulty agreement and sentence construction, and “This will leads” uses an incorrect verb form. The final paragraph also contains a sentence fragment beginning “Because people…”. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms after modal verbs, and complete sentence construction before adding more complex structures.

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