Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Undoubtedly, the growing influence of contian high levels of sugar. On our lives has sparked various debates. some individuals believe that causes many health problems whilst others opine that encourage people to consume less sugar. I completely agree with former and i will explain my viewpoints along with a solid conclusion in the following deliberation.

To commence with, the first and foremost point that come to my mind is

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You make an identifiable attempt to answer the question, stating, “I completely agree,” and you refer to the health problems associated with sugar. However, the response does not explain why higher prices would reduce consumption or develop any supporting reason or example. The opening also confuses the positions in the prompt, so it is unclear what “former” refers to. The body paragraph stops after “the first and foremost point that come to my mind is,” leaving the argument unfinished. The required minimum length is not met, which contributes to the very limited coverage of the task. To improve, state your position clearly, explain two relevant reasons, and support them with specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory paragraph is followed by a new paragraph beginning “To commence with,” and phrases such as “I will explain my viewpoints” signal an intended structure. However, the ideas do not progress into a complete argument, because the second paragraph ends before presenting a point. The opening sentences are difficult to follow, and the reference in “I completely agree with former” is unclear. Some linking expressions, including “Undoubtedly” and “To commence with,” are used, but they cannot create a coherent progression without connected supporting ideas. Plan a clear sequence—position, reason, explanation, example—and use paragraph breaks to separate each developed point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some formal and topic-related vocabulary, including “health problems,” “consume less sugar,” “sparked various debates,” and “viewpoints.” These choices show an effort to use language suited to an argumentative essay. However, several expressions are inaccurate or incomplete, which makes the meaning unclear: “the growing influence of contian high levels of sugar” does not form a meaningful phrase, and “former” is not an appropriate reference to the views in the prompt. There is also a spelling error in “contian.” Aim for precise, natural collocations rather than ornate phrases; for example, describe products as “containing high levels of sugar” and explain that higher prices may “discourage consumption.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a complex sentence with “some individuals believe … whilst others opine …,” and it uses a future-oriented clause in “I will explain my viewpoints.” However, control is inconsistent: the opening contains sentence fragments, including “On our lives has sparked various debates,” and the final sentence is unfinished. There are also errors in agreement and sentence construction, as in “the first and foremost point that come to my mind is.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, particularly the lowercase “some” after a full stop and “i.” These problems make parts of the response difficult to interpret. Practise completing each sentence, checking subject–verb agreement, and using capitals and punctuation consistently.

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