Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Sugar is now become an essential ingredient of every food and drink. It is claimed that, as every edible manufactured product has sugar in it and it is unhealthy, sugary products should be expensive to discourage people for consuming it. I tend to agree with this point of view and I will discuss in the paragraphs below.

First of all, avoiding sugar is not a simple task for someone who is addicted to it so, by making it expensive we can make them to buy and consume less. Because, majority of the products are inexpensive like icecream, donuts and cakes. Everyone can afford it easily that is the reason people buy and than it becomes a habit. The reason for becoming anything popular is it's price tag.There are many alternatives of Polythene bags like the plastic bags produced from starch and many more but, people still buy the traditionary polythene bags because of the fact that they are cheaper. Sometimes, shopkeepers also give stuff in them and do not add the price. This can be the same case with sugary products. For example, I used to have couple of cookies in a day because, they were 25 in only one hundred ruppes. But now, as I grown up they have become only 10 in 1 hundred and slowly I started quiting it.

In conclusion, sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar but it should be a gradual increase because, it can disturb the economy of the country and other things related to it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you agree that higher prices can reduce sugar consumption, and the example about buying fewer cookies gives the argument a personal, relevant illustration. However, the response only partially develops the task. The comparison with polythene bags is not clearly connected to health or sugar consumption, and the conclusion introduces possible economic effects without explaining them. You also need to address the proposal more fully, for example by explaining how price increases might affect consumers or why they would reduce intake. The response is 246 words, so it is four words below the 250-word minimum; the 14 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop your reasons and examples further to meet the task more completely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a main supporting paragraph and a conclusion, and the reader can follow the general argument. The cookie example also gives the main paragraph a concrete endpoint. However, there is little progression beyond one main reason, and the polythene-bag comparison interrupts the focus rather than clearly advancing the argument. Linking phrases such as “First of all,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help signal stages, but some connections are awkward or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “because.” Organise the body around distinct, clearly connected points and explain how each example supports the claim. Clearer referencing would also help readers follow who “them” and “it” refer to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the central idea, including “manufactured product,” “alternatives,” “price tag,” and “gradual increase.” The personal example also makes the language concrete. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or informal, which makes parts less natural: “essential ingredient of every food,” “traditionary polythene bags,” and “stuff” are examples. Spelling errors such as “ruppes” and “quiting” are noticeable, while “icecream” should be written as “ice cream.” Aim for more precise academic phrasing and check spelling carefully. Using a wider range of accurate terms for price, consumption and health would make the argument clearer and more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional idea in “by making it expensive we can…” and a contrast in “but now…”. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. Examples include “Sugar is now become,” “make them to buy,” and “as I grown up”; these show problems with verb forms and sentence construction. There are also issues with articles, agreement and punctuation, such as “Because, majority of the products” and the comma before “because” in several places. Practise building accurate sentences with subordinate clauses, and proofread each sentence for verb form, subject–verb agreement and punctuation.

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