Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Sugar is mostly use in all over the world . Sugar have a lot of benefits and have a many disease which create by sugar . Today many juice companies and drink companies use a high level of sugar which cause of many health problems. We should increase the cost of sugar to encourage to people consume less sugar. I have a mixed opinion on this topic that i will describe in below paragraphs.

Firstly, i agree with this because the most use of sugar have a lot of health problems. Today the most people such child and younger people drinking many manufactured food and juice they have a lot of sugar after drinking they effect our body cells and the growth of children . we should to understand and tell about its effects and disease if they did not understand its effect our young youth. We should increase the price of sugar product if the price is high mostly people did not use money to buy expensive sugar product.

On the other side, i disagree with this because the sugar is a natural taste

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address the topic and give a mixed position, stating that you agree with raising prices before introducing disagreement with “On the other side.” However, the response does not fully answer the question: the opposing view is left unfinished, and the reasons for either position are only briefly stated. For example, you mention health problems and suggest that higher prices may discourage purchases, but you do not explain these effects or provide a relevant example. The response is also 65 words below the required minimum, which limits the opportunity to develop your argument. To improve, state a clear position and support each main reason with explanation or an example, then complete both sides of your discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: you introduce the issue, present an agreeing paragraph beginning “Firstly,” and signal a contrasting view with “On the other side.” These markers help the reader recognise the intended structure. However, the response has no completed conclusion, and the final paragraph stops after “sugar is a natural taste,” so the progression is incomplete. Connections within sentences are also sometimes unclear, particularly in the long sentence about children, manufactured drinks, and effects on the body. Develop one main idea at a time, use clear sentence boundaries, and make the relationship between each reason and your position explicit. A complete opposing paragraph and conclusion would make the overall progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “sugar,” “health problems,” “price,” and “expensive,” so the general subject is usually recognisable. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and several word combinations are inaccurate or unclear. For instance, “the most use of sugar” does not express your intended point naturally, while “natural taste” is too vague to explain the opposing argument. Some errors, such as “manufactured food and juice,” also make the meaning less precise. Build a more varied set of topic expressions and check how words combine in English. More precise terms for health effects, pricing, and consumer behaviour would help you explain your ideas clearly without repeating “sugar” and “health problems.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form longer sentences and use basic linking structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “Sugar is mostly use,” “Sugar have,” and “we should to understand,” which show problems with verb forms and agreement. In “they effect our body cells and the growth of children,” the sentence structure and reference are unclear. Most sentences rely on simple patterns, and punctuation is inconsistent, including the spaces before full stops in the opening. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries first. Then combine ideas using controlled clauses, checking that each pronoun clearly refers to the intended person or thing.

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