Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Number of foods and drinks posses a certain degree of sugar which lead to health issues. However, making is more costly in order to prevent people from using it, is not a friendly solution .Therefore, I strongly disagree with that preventive measure. There are numerous strategies which can be enforced on public in terms of holding seminars , social media campegin , and impose ban on industries which break regulations of WHO(world health orgnaization).

The government should invest in their health sector regarding public awareness of excessive sugar, The seminars must be conducted by health workers in various public sectors such as schools, job companies etc. This adoptive step will allow people to think about their health and ultimately will be careful in using highly sugar items. Additionally, the social media plays a vital role in public's life now a days , the public figures who have so much fan-following should be approcahed by government for health advertisments.Their impact will suely affect the people's sugar consumption in positive prespective.

Moreover, there must be an effective check and balance approach by government.The food department authories must keep in check the manufacturer companies.For instance , A report was being circulated in pakistan news channels regarding sucrose utilization; a type of sugar that makes food too sweet without any bulk quantity.The hotels , food manufacturer were using this cheap sugar instead of high quailty sugar( fructose). As a result, many consumers became victims of several health issues. Such ill practices must be erradicated through proper checking and to make sure that standard gudielines are being followed.

Concluding , numerous items contain extreme sugar which create health issues.However, enhancing cost of those products cannot be a solution in long term.If proper public awareness is given to people about the worst consequences of utilizing highly sugar items ,the ill practices of making these products are curbed then , this can allow people to conrol this habit and different health issues will be mitigated in long term.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you disagree with making sugary products more expensive, and the conclusion maintains that view. You also address the issue with relevant alternatives, including public education and stronger checks on manufacturers. The examples about seminars, social media figures and the reported use of sucrose help support these proposals. This gives the response a clear, relevant argument. To strengthen it further, develop the reasoning behind your disagreement with higher prices more directly—for example, explain who would be most affected and why price increases may not change consumption. Some claims, such as the impact of public figures, are asserted rather than fully explained, and the Pakistan example would benefit from clearer context.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting alternatives, and a conclusion. The progression from public awareness to regulation is logical, and signposts such as “Additionally” and “Moreover” help readers follow the argument. This is a coherent overall arrangement. However, some linking is mechanical, with several paragraphs beginning with formulaic transitions, and punctuation around these links is inconsistent. The relationship between the proposed alternatives and your rejection of higher prices could also be made more explicit throughout. For example, connect the final sentence of each body paragraph back to why education or enforcement is preferable to taxation. Clearer referencing and smoother links between claims and examples would make the progression more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “public awareness,” “excessive sugar,” “health consequences,” and “regulations,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also efforts to use less common expressions such as “check and balance” and “eradicated.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “using” sugar products rather than “consuming” them, “highly sugar items,” and “adoptive step.” Several spellings are also unreliable, including “campegin,” “approcahed,” and “orgnaization.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully; a smaller set of well-controlled expressions would be more effective than ambitious but unclear phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “which” and “if,” and the overall meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and punctuation occur across the response, and some complex sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “Number of foods and drinks posses a certain degree of sugar which lead to health issues” has problems with its opening noun phrase and subject–verb agreement. The sentence beginning “However, making is more costly…” is also structurally unclear, while the final sentence contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences around one main idea, then add subordinate clauses; check agreement and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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