Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The statement that manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems has sparked considerable debate. I completely agree with this view for sevseral reasons, which I will discuss in this essay.

To begin with, one of the main reasons for this is that it can have a significant impact on individuals and soicety. On the one hand, one of the most compelling reasons is the severe health consequence of excessive sugar intake. This is evident that young people use the soft drinks. One good illustration drinks are available in most convenience stores and vending machines. Thus, it is clearly shows that positive outcomes.

Furthermore, another significant factor is that made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. It is widely ackownledged that fake news reach millions of people within minutes. A particularly good illustration of this is the spread of false health information during recent health crises. In addition, another important point is that this can lead to several positive outcomes in the long term.

In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance, however, I feel that manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. This is because making a sugar food and drinks more expensive is a necessary step.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You state a clear position in the introduction—“I completely agree”—and return to the idea that higher prices could reduce sugar consumption in the conclusion. However, the response only partially addresses the task: the reasons are not explained or supported with relevant examples, and some material, such as the discussion of “fake news,” is unrelated to sugar pricing. The claim about young people and soft drinks is also left incomplete, with no explanation of how price changes might affect their choices. The response contains 179 words, below the required 250; 40 words copied from the prompt were not counted. To strengthen the answer, develop two relevant reasons and illustrate each with a specific example, while maintaining your position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a recognisable essay shape, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” helps indicate paragraph roles. However, there is no clear progression of relevant ideas: the first body paragraph moves from health effects to store availability and then to “positive outcomes,” while the second shifts to fake news, which does not connect to the question. Several linking phrases are repetitive or do not express a clear relationship between ideas. The conclusion also repeats the prompt rather than synthesising the argument. Build each paragraph around one relevant point, explain it in sequence, and use linking expressions only where they clarify the connection.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-appropriate and formal vocabulary, including “excessive sugar intake,” “manufactured food and drink products” and “significant impact.” These choices show an effort to use language beyond basic everyday terms. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling or word-choice errors reduce clarity, including “sevseral,” “soicety” and “ackownledged.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “positive outcomes” where the specific outcome is not identified, and “a sugar food and drinks.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and more precise wording. For example, explain that a price increase may “discourage consumption” or “reduce demand,” rather than relying on general phrases such as “positive outcomes.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some complex sentence forms, including the opening clause “The statement … has sparked considerable debate” and the sentence beginning “This is because.” However, attempts at longer structures are often faulty, and the range remains limited. For example, “Thus, it is clearly shows” combines incompatible verb patterns; write either “Thus, it clearly shows” or “Thus, it is clear.” In “This is evident that young people use the soft drinks,” the clause structure is incomplete or unnatural; “It is evident that young people consume soft drinks” is clearer. The conclusion also has an awkward construction in “making a sugar food and drinks more expensive.” Practise building accurate subject–verb patterns and checking articles, agreement and sentence boundaries before adding complexity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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