Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's world sugar is one of the most dangerous and Life-threatening hazardous substancewhich is killing people every single day and spreading in every humans body on daily basis in huge numbers. I truly believe that government should take every intiative to stop this Hazardous substance weather it's making the price more higher or adding any other punishment in the rulebook.

These days most of the food products contains massive number of sugar which normal people consuming like a regular daily diet. There is one more thing which is much more dangerous than this that people are not afraid while eating sugar. In my circle 90% of the people eat and drink such a heavy sugary products without any safety guidlines and the most threatening moment which I had sawn is that their kids were having the same diet while watching their parents or other elders while sharing dinning table with them. I am hundered percent sure that, after 40 - 50 years people will regreting of eating sugar in their past years and every second person in the family surely will be affected with this un-safe hazardous substance. I really agree and request the people who are in power to focus on this important health matter to stop this dangerous hazardous substance, because now if government will not take action against this at some point the population of the world will start decreasing and it will effect economy as well I think they should double the price of every sugary product in markets and there will be only one day in which people can get the sugary products on a normal rate. 2 months ago my uncle was addmited in the hospital because of this hazardous substance and his leg was about to cut next morning, we were sitting with them at that night, I really got shocked when I saw he wished for a Cocala drink form his son just 12 hours before the surgery and I really got dissapointed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that sugary products should cost more, and you also suggest government action. The response stays relevant and gives a personal example about your uncle’s hospitalisation, which helps illustrate the health concern. However, the argument is not developed evenly. You explain that people and children consume sugary products, but do not clearly show how higher prices would change their behaviour or why this measure is preferable to other policies. The proposal to double prices and allow one day at the normal rate is specific, but its likely effects are not explained. To strengthen the response, develop two main reasons with clear cause-and-effect reasoning and support the policy proposal with a relevant example or evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is an identifiable overall direction: you introduce your agreement, describe consumption and its effects, and give a personal example. However, most of the response is presented as one very long paragraph, so the reader has little help distinguishing the main argument, supporting explanation, and example. Ideas also move abruptly from children’s habits to future population decline, government pricing, and your uncle’s surgery. Linking phrases such as “There is one more thing” and “because” are used, but they do not always make the relationship between claims clear. Use separate paragraphs for your position, developed reasons, and conclusion, and arrange each paragraph around one central point with explicit links between the claim and its support.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt emphatic and topic-related vocabulary, including “hazardous substance,” “population,” and “economy,” and the reader can generally understand your concern. However, the vocabulary is often repetitive and some choices or combinations are inaccurate, such as repeatedly calling sugar a “dangerous hazardous substance” and describing products as “heavy sugary.” Spelling errors—including “intiative,” “guidlines,” “regreting,” and “dissapointed”—also reduce accuracy. Some expressions are unclear or unnatural, for example “spreading in every humans body” and “normal people consuming like a regular daily diet.” Build a more precise range for discussing health and policy, and check spelling and collocations. Prefer measured wording, such as “excessive sugar consumption,” rather than repeated dramatic labels.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with subordinate clauses, so there is some variety in structure. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in long sentences that combine several claims. Examples include “most of the food products contains” and “people will regreting,” where subject–verb agreement and verb forms are incorrect. Other patterns, such as “I am hundred percent sure that, after 40–50 years people will…” and “if government will not take action,” show problems with clause structure and tense. Punctuation is also difficult to follow in the extended sentence about government action and the economy. Practise accurate sentence patterns and divide long ideas into shorter sentences; then check agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation.

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